Friday, March 25, 2011

Paint it Purple!!!

This is the first ever blogfest hosted by Erin Kane Spock at Hold On To Your Bloomers!!

The rules are easy: Post a short segment of your work-in-progress. Then paint it purple!

I am not working on anything brand new right now...but my plan for spring/summer.....before copy edits start for Karma Kameleon, I am revamping Spellbound! (Yes, I believe I am a glutton for punishment...I just can't shelve this story!! But that is how A Bitch Named Karma found a home!)

Spellbound is a story that's been around for a long time. I really love this romantic women's fiction story...there really is a lot of depth to it and the characters. But obviously, the story has it's issues and I'm trying to work them out!! In this scene, Roda, my MC- a wedding florist- is at the church for the wedding rehearsal with her most difficult client ever, who has demanded she remake one of the floral pieces she has already made for the wedding. She's on her way out to her van to get her tool kit so she can remeasure the alter.

Here is the scene as written in my story:

While contemplating the answer, Roda lost her footing on the hundred-year-old marble. Her stomach flip-flopped, and sheer terror and panic filled her to the core as she toppled backwards, her purse crashing to the floor. Her one-hundred and ten pound, five-foot-two-inch body hit the staircase with a thump that sounded like it weighed about triple the amount. She slid all the way to the bottom, her behind hitting each stair, as the contents of her purse spilled down the stairs next to her like a jug of marbles had been poured down them.

And now, my purpley re-write!!!

While painstakingly pondering the thought in her head, Roda's kitten-heeled, sandal clad foot clumsily slipped out from under her, the church's hundred-year-old marble slicker than Father David's hands on All You Can Eat Wing Night at the local K of C. Her stomach flipped, flopped, and rolled like drunken sailor on fire as bloodcurdling terror and heart attack-giving panic filled her body and oozed out her pores. Her five-foot-two inch elf-like body flew backwards at a rate of a hundred miles per hour as her ginormous purse was tossed high up into the air, then sailed back down alongside her. All one-hundred and ten pounds of her smacked the ancient staircase with a thump so loud it sounded like she weighed as much as an elephant with a half dozen clowns on it's back. As if she were on a Giant Slide at a traveling carnival, she slid down the stairs as sharp jolts of pain slapped at her behind with each rocky step while the contents of her gym-bag sized purse spilled down the stairs beside her like a million brightly colored tiger's eye marbles had been poured down them.

So..what do you think??? Pretty purple, huh?? ;)


  1. I love your purpleness! :)

    Have a great weekend.

  2. Ginormous...that was classic. I like your version better than the purple. Great entry.

  3. HAHA, so many words for such a short-lived event. :D I love it! Great job.

  4. Oh, so fun. Loved it. I have fallen down stone stairs in much the same way, except I was carrying 3 raw eggs in each hand. Only broke one egg, but was in a world of hurt.
    Great job.

  5. Wow Susan! I am impressed!!!!!

    Thanks for stopping by everyone!!!

  6. Great job! I loved this image: the church's hundred-year-old marble slicker than Father David's hands on All You Can Eat Wing Night at the local K of C.

  7. OMG!
    "slicker than Father David's hands on All You Can Eat Wing Night at the local K of C."
    That was beautiful in so many ways it's almost not wrong. And yet, it is. Terribly, terribly wrong. That was an awesome submission. Thanks for participating. :)

  8. Thanks guys...I had so much fun with that line!!!!