I have a great group of friends. We do so much together and have been there for each other for every single milestone in life to this point. We're all in our 30's, we're all married, we all have kids. There's been ups and downs and we've been there to support each other. And have had a blast. We're always doing fun activities. I know which ladies will be on my arm when I'm 80, still doing the fun things we've always done.
Recently there was some buzz about a Friends the TV show reunion and even a whole reunion season. I was ecstatic. It's one of my all time favorite shows. I just bought the entire series on DVD. I would LOVE to see how the characters I loved are doing ten years later. But all my hopes were dashed with an article stating this was not happening. Which was fine, but I completely disagreed with the reasoning.
The article I read- read it here- states the reunion is not happening because "Friends was about that time in your life when your friends were your family and once you have a family, there's no need."
O....kay.....so what about this awesome bond I have with my girls? And even some of the guys?
I sure as hell need my friends. And I plan on always needing them. I adore my kids, but sometimes I need to be with other adults. I need to let loose with my girls and have fun. We have strong bonds. No one else on earth can identify with me about life like they can. We laugh together, cry together, do silly crazy shit together! My kids and husband aren't going to see NKOTB with me! My girlfriends are! I'm living my life to the fullest and enjoying it and my friends are a huge part of that. My family is the other part. Both are very significant to me.
So fine...there won't be a Friends reunion, but don't use the lame excuse that no one needs friends once they have a spouse and family.
And to get technical, Ross and Monica were brother and sister, and married/ended up with two of the other friends, making them all family. So, 4 of the friends still see each other an awful lot. Well, in my imagination they do. :) So there!
Showing posts with label best friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label best friends. Show all posts
Monday, April 29, 2013
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Friendships and how they change over time
Been thinking about this post for some time now.
I have a great group of girlfriends. We do a lot together, just us girls, and also with our families. Some of them I've known since high school, others I met through one of those friends. One's even my cousin. We've all managed to do something many other women only dream of- we've stayed close for many many years.
Which is not to say there are never problems, but things get worked out. I try my best to work things out because I don't want to lose the friendships. I want to be 80 and linked arm in arm with my girlfriends, still doing the things we do now, still laughing our asses off, still being there for one another through bad times.
But I truly believe friendships change and evolve over the years. People change and evolve. None of the relationships I have with any of them are the same as what they were 10 years ago.
The older I get the more I understand that everyone needs to do what's best for them no matter what others think or say. People will judge no matter what you do, so you can only make yourself happy. I try not to be judgmental and always give the benefit of the doubt, though I am human and, therefore, not perfect. But I try and I think I am far better than I was even a few years ago.
I've been thinking a lot lately about friends who change. It may be for the better for them, and they are happy, but their changes sometimes change the bond you had. Common ground is gone. Opinions and feelings are different. It's sometimes hard to connect with someone who has changed their thoughts and beliefs. I don't look down on them for the changes they've made, especially if they are happy, but it does leave me feeling as if the friendship is not the same as it was. There is distance. It leaves me in a weird position. But I think it's completely natural to be closer to some people for a length of time, and then migrate toward others as our lives change.
Another thing I've learned over these years is the better you get to know others, the better a friend you can be to them. Everyone is different. Everyone has their own thoughts and beliefs and it's great when you agree with people. But learning about people and how they deal with life, which is different than how other people, and you, deal with the same situation, allows you to be a better friend.
Just like marriage, friendships take work. Nothing worth having comes effortlessly. And bailing when things get tough is not the way to hold on to the things that matter.
I have a great group of girlfriends. We do a lot together, just us girls, and also with our families. Some of them I've known since high school, others I met through one of those friends. One's even my cousin. We've all managed to do something many other women only dream of- we've stayed close for many many years.
Which is not to say there are never problems, but things get worked out. I try my best to work things out because I don't want to lose the friendships. I want to be 80 and linked arm in arm with my girlfriends, still doing the things we do now, still laughing our asses off, still being there for one another through bad times.
But I truly believe friendships change and evolve over the years. People change and evolve. None of the relationships I have with any of them are the same as what they were 10 years ago.
The older I get the more I understand that everyone needs to do what's best for them no matter what others think or say. People will judge no matter what you do, so you can only make yourself happy. I try not to be judgmental and always give the benefit of the doubt, though I am human and, therefore, not perfect. But I try and I think I am far better than I was even a few years ago.
I've been thinking a lot lately about friends who change. It may be for the better for them, and they are happy, but their changes sometimes change the bond you had. Common ground is gone. Opinions and feelings are different. It's sometimes hard to connect with someone who has changed their thoughts and beliefs. I don't look down on them for the changes they've made, especially if they are happy, but it does leave me feeling as if the friendship is not the same as it was. There is distance. It leaves me in a weird position. But I think it's completely natural to be closer to some people for a length of time, and then migrate toward others as our lives change.
Another thing I've learned over these years is the better you get to know others, the better a friend you can be to them. Everyone is different. Everyone has their own thoughts and beliefs and it's great when you agree with people. But learning about people and how they deal with life, which is different than how other people, and you, deal with the same situation, allows you to be a better friend.
Just like marriage, friendships take work. Nothing worth having comes effortlessly. And bailing when things get tough is not the way to hold on to the things that matter.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
The Girly Book Blog Hop!
Today I'm part of a fun blog hop all about secondary characters!!
What gal is complete without her super fab BFF?????
Secondary characters give our main characters depth. I think you can tell a lot about people by who they keep closest to them. In my writing, my secondary characters are usually quirky and wild. They're usually a person my main character wishes they could be more like...and learns a lot from them.
Below is a scene from my newest work in progress...just wrote this scene! It's the first glimpse that readers get of the dynamic between Deeni and her BFF Lydia. Basically, Deeni has just been dumped by her longline boyfriend and concocted a wacky plan to save face at her sister's wedding. Enjoy!
(PS...except has a bit of strong language...18 and over only please!)
Deeni took a deep breath. She was about to share this crazy plan with someone who was not physically involved in it. Lydia wouldn’t sugarcoat. She’d tell her exactly how nutty they were to even attempt it.
“It’s not how it looks.”
“You looked pretty damn cozy, if you ask me. Who is this guy? Where did he come from? And were you cheating on Eddie?”
“Hold on. I’ll answer all that. We just met this morning.”
“Wow. You jump back in the saddle fast. And by the way, I’m kinda pissed I had to hear about the breakup from my mother, of all people.
“I know. There really wasn’t any time. It all happened late last night, and then I had to get to work. The wedding takes precedence over any other thing in my life right now.”
“Fuck the wedding.”
“I’d love to, believe me. But anyway, we met this morning and he just got dumped too. He needs someone to pose as his fiancé and I need someone to pretend to be my new boyfriend cause I kinda told my mother I had been cheating on Eddie for months.”
“And why would you do that?”
“Because she was gonna sit Uncle Fred in Eddie’s empty seat at our table for the reception, and I don’t know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. She had that pitying look in her eye and I couldn’t stand it. I think I’d rather be a cheater than a pathetic dumpee.”
“Okay. I think I get it.” Lydia pulled up in front of Deeni’s place. “But that doesn’t explain the almost kiss I witnessed at Allegretto.”
I can’t explain it either. “Uh, I guess when you take two recently dumped people and give them two bottles of wine, they get a little out of control.”
She shook her head. “Just be careful. You don’t know this guy.”
“I will. Thanks for the concern, Mama Bear.”
“You don’t want to end up like me."
“What are you talking about? You’re blissfully happy.”
Lydia’s fling the summer between junior and senior year turned into a baby girl that spring. Luckily, she was good at picking someone to fling with. She and Chuck fell in love, adding two more kiddos to the crew.
“Yeah, I am. But it’s not fun to have a baby with someone you barely know. It wasn’t exactly easy getting to where we are now.”
Deeni remembered. She’d listened to Lydia cry numerous nights back then.
“So how are you, really? It had to suck being dumped like that.”
“It did. It does. I’m not sure how I feel. One minute I’m devastated and feel completely blindsided, the next, it’s like I dodged a bullet. Can you imagine if I’d married him and had kids and then he decided to cheat on me?”
“That woulda sucked. But I guess now that it’s happened, I’m not really all that surprised. Do you wonder if he’s cheated on you other times than this?”
“I never suspected until now.” She turned toward Lydia. “Do you think it’s cause I’m bad in bed? A girl like Gina G probably does all kinds of freaky stuff.”
“First of all, I can’t say for sure having never had sex with you, but you are not bad in bed. And secondly, that tramp is a freak. If he’s attracted to a girl who flashes her lady parts all over Miami and will blow him anytime, anywhere, then you don’t want him anyway.”
“You’re right.”
“And now you can find a better man. Who knows? Maybe something will happen with the tasty one you had for dinner."
“Uh, no. He’s just been dumped too. Nothing good can come of me thinking I can start a relationship with Carter. If anything, he’d be a fun fling.”
“And there’s nothing wrong with that. Best way to get over a guy is hot sex with an even hotter guy.”
Deeni giggled and shook her head. “Thanks for the love. And the ride. I appreciate it.” She leaned across and hugged Lydia. “I’ll talk to you later.”
So there it is! I love a great set of BFFs! And in honor of great BFFs, I've giving one lucky winner a digital copy of my book, Soap Dreams, which also stars a feisty BFF sidekick!
Giveaway is international and you must be a blog follower to enter! Just leave a comment below with an email address so I can contact you! Contest ends on Oct. 1st at 11:59 PM! Thanks for stopping by!
And make sure you check out all the other participating blogs and all their awesome giveaways!!!
What gal is complete without her super fab BFF?????
Secondary characters give our main characters depth. I think you can tell a lot about people by who they keep closest to them. In my writing, my secondary characters are usually quirky and wild. They're usually a person my main character wishes they could be more like...and learns a lot from them.
Below is a scene from my newest work in progress...just wrote this scene! It's the first glimpse that readers get of the dynamic between Deeni and her BFF Lydia. Basically, Deeni has just been dumped by her longline boyfriend and concocted a wacky plan to save face at her sister's wedding. Enjoy!
(PS...except has a bit of strong language...18 and over only please!)
Deeni took a deep breath. She was about to share this crazy plan with someone who was not physically involved in it. Lydia wouldn’t sugarcoat. She’d tell her exactly how nutty they were to even attempt it.
“It’s not how it looks.”
“You looked pretty damn cozy, if you ask me. Who is this guy? Where did he come from? And were you cheating on Eddie?”
“Hold on. I’ll answer all that. We just met this morning.”
“Wow. You jump back in the saddle fast. And by the way, I’m kinda pissed I had to hear about the breakup from my mother, of all people.
“I know. There really wasn’t any time. It all happened late last night, and then I had to get to work. The wedding takes precedence over any other thing in my life right now.”
“Fuck the wedding.”
“I’d love to, believe me. But anyway, we met this morning and he just got dumped too. He needs someone to pose as his fiancé and I need someone to pretend to be my new boyfriend cause I kinda told my mother I had been cheating on Eddie for months.”
“And why would you do that?”
“Because she was gonna sit Uncle Fred in Eddie’s empty seat at our table for the reception, and I don’t know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. She had that pitying look in her eye and I couldn’t stand it. I think I’d rather be a cheater than a pathetic dumpee.”
“Okay. I think I get it.” Lydia pulled up in front of Deeni’s place. “But that doesn’t explain the almost kiss I witnessed at Allegretto.”
I can’t explain it either. “Uh, I guess when you take two recently dumped people and give them two bottles of wine, they get a little out of control.”
She shook her head. “Just be careful. You don’t know this guy.”
“I will. Thanks for the concern, Mama Bear.”
“You don’t want to end up like me."
“What are you talking about? You’re blissfully happy.”
Lydia’s fling the summer between junior and senior year turned into a baby girl that spring. Luckily, she was good at picking someone to fling with. She and Chuck fell in love, adding two more kiddos to the crew.
“Yeah, I am. But it’s not fun to have a baby with someone you barely know. It wasn’t exactly easy getting to where we are now.”
Deeni remembered. She’d listened to Lydia cry numerous nights back then.
“So how are you, really? It had to suck being dumped like that.”
“It did. It does. I’m not sure how I feel. One minute I’m devastated and feel completely blindsided, the next, it’s like I dodged a bullet. Can you imagine if I’d married him and had kids and then he decided to cheat on me?”
“That woulda sucked. But I guess now that it’s happened, I’m not really all that surprised. Do you wonder if he’s cheated on you other times than this?”
“I never suspected until now.” She turned toward Lydia. “Do you think it’s cause I’m bad in bed? A girl like Gina G probably does all kinds of freaky stuff.”
“First of all, I can’t say for sure having never had sex with you, but you are not bad in bed. And secondly, that tramp is a freak. If he’s attracted to a girl who flashes her lady parts all over Miami and will blow him anytime, anywhere, then you don’t want him anyway.”
“You’re right.”
“And now you can find a better man. Who knows? Maybe something will happen with the tasty one you had for dinner."
“Uh, no. He’s just been dumped too. Nothing good can come of me thinking I can start a relationship with Carter. If anything, he’d be a fun fling.”
“And there’s nothing wrong with that. Best way to get over a guy is hot sex with an even hotter guy.”
Deeni giggled and shook her head. “Thanks for the love. And the ride. I appreciate it.” She leaned across and hugged Lydia. “I’ll talk to you later.”
So there it is! I love a great set of BFFs! And in honor of great BFFs, I've giving one lucky winner a digital copy of my book, Soap Dreams, which also stars a feisty BFF sidekick!
Giveaway is international and you must be a blog follower to enter! Just leave a comment below with an email address so I can contact you! Contest ends on Oct. 1st at 11:59 PM! Thanks for stopping by!
And make sure you check out all the other participating blogs and all their awesome giveaways!!!
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