Ignoring your social media is worse than not having it to begin with

I have a HUGE pet peeve. People ignoring their social media. 

I know not everyone has the time to be online all day every day, but as a small business or a self-employed person like a writer/author, you NEED to check it periodically. If not once a day, then at least every other day. The world uses social media as a major way of communication. If you ignore it, you're ignoring possible customers. 

Little story here. A few weeks ago I was helping some friends collect donations for a fundraiser we were organizing. The proceeds went to Roswell Park Cancer Institute, a VERY well-known hospital in our area, as well as the entire country. To save time, and to make it easier on us, I sent messages through Facebook to about 20 local businesses asking for donations. Guess how many responded. 4. The rest hadn't even read the message. (Love how FB lets you see when the message has been viewed.)

So…I don't know about you guys, but that leaves an unpleasant taste in my mouth. Regardless if they would have donated or not, all I cared about was a reply. I could have been asking an important question about their business. Business owners need to accept the fact that customers reach out to them in more ways than just the telephone these days. 

In my opinion, if you have no intention of keeping up with your social media, don't have it at all. 

Social media makes us LESS social?? I disagree.

Today I came across this Tweet: "If you think that social media, despite the name, hasn't made us less social than ever... you've got rocks in your head."

I think I get what the Tweeter is saying...that people rely too much on social media to communicate and less on actual face to face conversations and phone calls. But I really and truly think social media has made me closer and more in tune with my friends and family.

First of all....Facebook has allowed me to keep in touch with family members from all over the country...even the world. My cousin's husband was stationed in Germany for three years. Facebook allowed me and my cousin to stay in contact and chat whenever we wanted. It's been a long time since we've lived in the same town and FB made it possible for us to become close. And now that she's in Hawaii for the next 3 years, I can still keep in close contact with her. I am able to be a part of my friend's daily lives who no longer live in this area. It allowed me to get to know a cousin I never really knew because she was born and grew up a few states away. Until FB, I had only even seen her a few times in my life. Now, in our mid 30's, I can finally consider her a real friend.

Secondly, I am a mom with a career and kids with activities who has friends with careers and families and activities. I do not have time to go have coffee with every one of my friends and family members each week to see how they are and catch up on their lives. As much as I would love to. Life is different these days. It's not like the 50's when most moms were home all day and could get together and chat. But you know what? I can hop on Facebook for twenty minutes and be caught up on all my friends and their families and what they're doing, have a few laughs, view some photos.

Third, social media has allowed me the opportunity to make friends all over the country and world, who I never would have had the chance to meet otherwise. Wonderful and amazing people. Sometimes you need to go outside your circle of friends to find the support and camaraderie you need. I am a writer and no one I knew in my day to day life did that. I found a writers group in my city from an online community. And they were great. I adored them. But still, none wrote what I wrote and I really craved kinship with those like me. And I found them. Social media helps people to not feel alone. There are people out there just like you, loving what you love, no matter what it is. And technology has allowed us to connect easily.

So, I don't know what you all think, but I guess I have rocks in my head. I am so so thankful for what social media has done for me. No, it's not perfect and it has its drawbacks, but when used properly, it is amazing. There has to be balance, just like all things in life. It should not replace all human interaction, but it is great for when face to face human interaction just isn't possible. But when you are in the presence of other humans, the phones should be put away.

Tweets of the week!!

Here's this week's installment!! Enjoy!!

@jentoinfinity: You're sleeping with the wrong people. RT @INDIEAUTHORHULK WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GET A LITERARY AGENT, BUT SO EASY TO GET CHLAMYDIA?

@MattBryantDFW: The problem with the bat-signal is it lets everybody in freakin' Gotham know he's coming.  It should be a subtle iPhone app.

@RickyGervais: Following someone on Twitter & then complaining about what they tweet about is like stalking someone & complaining that they walk too fast.

@AdvicetoWriters: Writers get paid for what other people get scolded for: daydreaming. We’re supposed to wander. RICHARD WALTER

@RuthiKnox: I just need to say, for the record, because I'm really feeling it today: God, I love being a romance writer.

@thejessbess: I've been calling 1-900-MIX-ALOT, but no answer. So I'm not quite sure how else to kick these nasty thoughts.

@BuffaloGrlProbs: I've been doing a lot of bikram yoga...except room temperature and no stretching and in my bed watching TV. #workoutplan #buffalogirl

@RubenAgency: Don't be too serious as a writer. Or anything. If you're not having fun, you're probably doing it wrong.

Is Twitter for you?

I started a Twitter account a while back...and I won't lie. It's main purpose was to stalk follow celebrities. It was pretty cool to read the daily thoughts of people I admired and idolized.

But then I started realizing it might be a good idea to get on there and network with many of my fellow authors. So I started a new account, since the first was not my actual name. (The one I use now is @stephanihaefner, in case you wanna go follow me!) I started following writers I already knew and agents I wanted. I started making lots of friends and it started to be really fun. I gained a small following and it was so cool. And yeah, I still follow celebrities ;)

So is Twitter for everyone? No. It really depends on what you want to gain from social networking.

If you want to share photo albums, keep in touch with family and friends, send lengthy private messages, and organize events, Facebook is definitely far better for all that. Twitter is tough, with it's 140 character limit and all.

If you want to meet new people with similar interests, Twitter is the place. In my opinion, since Twitter has a very limited profile page--bio is all you have and it's pretty short-- to me it feels a bit more private. There's no pics of me, accept my one profile pic. There's none of my kids. It's simple. And I feel like it's a better place to converse with people you don't know in real life, if that makes any kind of sense.

If you're looking to network and meet people in your line of business, Twitter is DEFINITELY the place to be. I have made SOOOOOOO many connections there and found out about so many opportunities. Invaluable! :)

And if you want to stalk celebrities, definitely check Twitter out! :) It really is cool :) And you just never know when one will actually reply to you! Just today I was beyond ecstatic to get a RT (that's retweet, for those of you not versed in Twitter-speak) and a direct Tweet from Josh Henderson, one of the hotties on the new Dallas (the hottest, IMHO!) Many celebs post pics you wouldn't get to see otherwise. Very cool stuff :)

If you like to keep up on news, current events, anything happening in the world or in your town, with up-to-the-minute posts, Twitter is for you. I follow several news outlets, including my local newspaper. They update throughout the day with breaking news.

I really love Twitter...far more than I ever expected.

So, do you Twitter? Why? What do you like about it? What do you hate?

My favorite things about owning a smartphone

The last time my cell phone contract was up, in 2009, we debated. Blackberries were BOGO. But for both of us to pay $30 each a month for a data plan was just ridiculous. It would have been cool to have but it wasn't a necessity. In the end we passed and went with regular phones, no data. I said to hubby, "Maybe in two years I'll be more important and it will be worth it to pay the monthly fee."

This past May our contracts were up again and I wondered if I was really any more important than I had been two years before. Kinda, I guess. In 2009, I had just signed my first book contract, but the book wasn't due to come out for another year. But in May 2011, I had three books out, with another contract just having been signed. I was blogging, networking online, etc. So I did spend a lot more time online.

So I upgraded to an Android phone while hubby stuck with a regular phone (And let me tell you, there is slim pickins. If you don't want a smartphone, you have like three phones to pick from and they aren't great.) I love that I can stay on top of my email and not log on each morning to 50 unread emails. I can keep up on Twitter and FB and all that stuff when I'm not on the computer during the day. It's been real great for me and my career and networking.

BUT....there are also some fun advantages too!! If we're in the car listening to the radio and don't know the lyrics to a song, I can look them up right then and there! If we're watching TV and want to know how old an actor is or who they're married to or if that's really the guy who was on that other show like 5 years ago....I can look it up! I no longer have to boot up my laptop to check movie times. I can search for specific stores or restaurants right on my phone while we're out.

I was watching a special on the History Channel a few weeks back...the Top 100 Inventions of All Time. guess what #1 was....the Smartphone.....passing radio and TV in the #2 and #3 spots.

I have to say I agree.

Is it best to be everywhere??

As everyone knows....or if you don't know....pull up a seat and listen close....authors need to do about 99% of their own promotion these days. Unless you're Stephen king or JK Rowling....

But the rest of us need to put our names and books out there...entice readers to spend their hard-earned dollars on our book. Social media has made this relatively easy. There are so many places to put your face and books: Facebook groups and author pages, Twitter, blogs, Goodreads, Yahoo groups, LinkedIn, and a million other places.

But what is best?? Where should you spend your time? Is more better?

I am lucky enough to stay home and not work outside of my home. I have one child home with me and another who is in school full day. I get a decent amount of time each day to work and network. But I still have many interruptions and responsibilities. So it's not always all that great. I do what I can. But that means I have to limit the time I spend doing Twitter, Facebook, Blogging, etc... I could spend hours and hours each day doing that. But that means I get little or no time to actually write.

And what about the working writer who has to do the 9-5 all day and only has a couple hours each evening to do all their writing related things???? They can't spend all of their little time networking and promoting. Or they'd never have anything new to promote.

So my question today is...does it really pay to have your face and hand in EVERYTHING out there???

I do what I can...I think I'd rather do a couple things, and really do them right, than try and visit a million places each day. But I have days where I feel like I'm not doing enough. that I should be doing more. But then my work in progress suffers. There's only so many hours in the day and I can't neglect my family (and I don't want to). And as much as I would loooooove it...I cannot survive on an hour of sleep.

Lastly today, if you can help me out...I have gotten my survey up and running!!! Yay!! It is for readers ONLY, not writers, so please please please send the link to anyone you think may help be willing to help me out!! I will be posting the results here on my blog in a few weeks!! I think the info will be very valuable for all authors!! Survey

Why am I sitting here? I have things to do!

Yeah...I have tons to do right now. Tonight is my turn to host the monthly Girls Night in with my close group of friends. (Can you say martinis and comfort food???) I have to clean the bathroom, do up some dishes, get the dining room ready....and a pan of homemade mac n cheese isn't going to magically appear in my oven. Ohh and what's that smell....oh...my son needs a diaper change too.

But where am I??? Right here, at my computer. I've just spent the last two hours reading blogs, commenting on blogs, Twittering, Facebooking, Goodreads, etc.... I think I'm a little obsessed, but not obsessed with social networking, per say. I'm obsessed with getting myself out there and connecting with people. I'm obsessed with getting people to want to read my book.

I need to do this. I need to be successful. I need to make something of this dream.

There's so much I want and I want it now! I so feel like Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I see other people have it and I want it too. Sometimes I really want to stamp my feet and be bratty. Sometimes I wish my daddy would ask "Okay, how much?" and buy me my dream come true.

No, that's not true. I've always been a girl who needs to earn what I have. And yeah...nothing worth having comes easy. I know that.

Sometimes I just wish it wasn't so damn hard. It would be so much easier if my dream was to be a doctor. You go to school and as long as you apply yourself and work hard, you dream will someday come true.

With my dream there is no guarantee...ever.

Okay, the stink is getting to me and I really need to go clean!

Social networking and our opinions

I think most people frequent at least one from of social networking- Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, etc..., whether it be for business reasons or purely for pleasure. I visit these places for both reasons. Some weigh more toward one reason than the other, but I do it because I enjoy it. And I like interacting with others.

BUT.....

Everyone has their chance to say whatever is on their mind....whenever they want. Opinions on anything and everything. And we all have our opinions, which are different from what others think. So when we open ourselves up by posting our thoughts.....it's expected that others will respond with their opposite opinions, right????

When I post something, I do it with the knowledge that someone may think differently and share their thoughts. I normally don't mind....I don't expect or want everyone to think the same as I do. I don't mind a good debate as long as all parties remain open-minded and things don't get nasty.

When you post, do you expect to get a range of comments back?? Does it bother you if someone disagrees with you?? Since it is your post, if someone doesn't agree, should they just not comment??

There are many times I have a different opinion that what someone has posted and I wonder if I really should comment. I try my hardest to always post my opinions in a concise and respectful way. But as we all know, words on a screen are often misconstrued.