First Page Blogfest!!!

Elle Strauss is hosting this fun blog today!!! Please check it out here!!

And here is my entry!! This is the opening page (well, first 250 words) to Spellbound!!

"Yes, Mrs. Vandewater, your daughter’s wedding bouquet will be delivered to your house by noon along with all of the attendants’ flowers,” Roda Morgan answered for the third time as she doodled on a yellow legal pad, taking the name Vandewater and added horns to the V and a pointed tail to the R.

As the owner of a service oriented business, “The customer is always right” became a motto she had no choice but to live by, regardless of how insane it sometimes made her. Numerous times she would have loved to chuck that motto right out the window, watching it splatter on the street like a water balloon tossed from ten stories up. What joy she’d have telling the customer exactly what she thought of them and where they could take their “one last question”. But in the end, her desire to please everyone won out.

“No, I will not get lost on the way to your house. I have the directions you gave me, plus printed directions off the Internet. I also have your home phone number, your cell phone number and your maid’s cell phone number programmed into my phone just in case.”

The door chime sounded and Roda looked up to find a wide eyed twenty-something. She had that dreamy look in her eyes and began browsing around the shop, stopping to caress a fluffy guestbook pen and smiled.

More screeching came from the receiver of the phone and Roda turned her attention back to this year’s Momzilla,

If you have time and can do this...please critique my synopsis!

I hate these things soooooooooooooooooooooo much. Condensing an entire 372 page novel into one page is pure torture.......seriously...this is hell for writers. If anyone ever needed to get some info out of me...just stick me in a room and make me write synopsises. I won't last long.

Here is my one-pager for Spellbound. I took it to my writers group two weeks ago and they said the first half was good....but the second half fell short on description and it seemed like I was rushing to get the story down. I worked on it today.

It's contemporary romance. Thanks in advance! :)

Spellbound: One-Page Synopsis

RODA MORGAN is constantly surrounded by love. As a wedding florist, she helps brides and grooms plan their weddings, dreaming of the day she will don a white gown herself.

Roda’s toughest client of the year is MRS. VANDEWATER, a wealthy socialite who thinks all things revolve around her and her perfect daughter.

When Roda meets ERIC SPENCER, a groomsman from the Vandewater wedding, she thinks this tall, dark and handsome gentleman is way out of her league. They begin dating and she quickly feels a connection with him. Roda relaxes her guard and tells him about her Wiccan beliefs, something that has proven to be a problem in many of her past relationships with men. But Eric’s open-mindedness makes him different than the others and the two fall in love fast while learning and appreciating the differences they have.

Roda’s world is more perfect than she could ever have imagined, until Eric confesses that his mother is Violetta Vandewater, the woman who tormented her for months. He explains why he kept the truth from her—fear that she would refuse to see him because of who his mother is. After calming her initial anger, Roda understands the trepidation in telling a new love interest about your family.

Roda starts spending time with the Vanderwater family. She wants to become a part of Eric’s world and finds that she likes the wealth and privilege much more than she ever thought. As she lets some of her beliefs and family traditions fall to the wayside, Roda’s mother can see her daughter pulling away from their modest Wiccan lifestyle.

With a magical proposal, Eric asks Roda to marry him and the two begin planning their wedding. When they talk about the ceremony, Roda is uncomfortable with a church service and Eric is unhappy about a God-less ceremony. The two argue, the first time their different backgrounds has become an issue.

Mrs. Vandewater finds out that Roda is Wiccan and forbids her son from marrying a “satan worshipper”. The false accusation from her future mother-in-law devastates Roda, but Eric tells her he loves her and doesn’t care what his mother thinks.

Wedding plans fall apart as one thing after another goes wrong and unbeknown to them, Eric’s mother is the cause of every single one. He tries to console a hysterical Roda, but she can no longer believe his words. They argue about everything and anything—things they both had held inside. Roda removes her engagement ring and walks out.

In the midst of a family tragedy, Roda hides her sorrow about her canceled engagement. She learns that Eric’s mother was behind the wedding disasters, but at that point, it doesn’t even matter. Their problems are too big to overcome. Eric goes to her and tells her he still loves her and still wants to marry her. They can fly away and be married on the beach while the sun sets—no drama, just their love. He will be on the plane and if she wants to marry him, she must meet him there.

After facing a life of loneliness, Roda rushes to the airport and makes it to the gate just as last call is announced. Eric is there, waiting for her with open arms.

My brain is being pulled in a zillion directions!

And it just does not know where to focus itself.

First off is this absolute LAST stage of editing for A Bitch Named Karma. I received my galley proof like more than a week ago. Went through that sucker...had it done last Thursday. Sent off my list of minuscule changes and typos I caught, but then wondered if I should go through it one more time....just to be on the safe side. Decided I should but the weekend was crazy busy so it got set aside till this past Monday. Opened the file....my brain hurt to look at it. It needs to sit for at least a few days...maybe even a week.

I have Spellbound edits to do as well. I finished the POV switch like 2 weeks ago but now I have to go through and perfect it. I also need to add in the POV of my hero....his POV passages are short...less than a page at the end of some of the chapters, but still. And I got a timer ticking away on this one......writers conference is last weekend of March.....just over 2 weeks away.....yeah....I'm pitching Spellbound when I go....

And speaking of the writers conference, I need to make business cards, perfect my synopsis....mentally prepare myself for a 10 minute meeting with a literary agent.....

Throw in a volunteer project where I am writing the life story of a woman at a nursing home, critiquing fellow writers work, and trying my damndest to keep up this blog and another.

Is it April yet??? I so need a vacation?????

POV change is DONE! Holy Cow was that a lot of work!

This POV change was for Spellbound, my 3rd completed novel. Basically it's about a simplistic woman who falls for a wealthy man and the differences they must deal with when they start a committed relationship. It tackles a lot of issues today's couples must deal with: financial, religious, familial.

I shouldn't have been surprised at the amount of work this took...I knew it would be very time-consuming. But in the beginning, it was just time consuming....easy....replacing I and we with she and they. But the more I went on...it just got to be a huge pain in the butt. Worth it, hopefully, but a huge pain.

But today I finally finished it. Whew! Huge weight has been lifted! This change was necessary and it was worth it. I think the story is stronger...love that I can add my hero's POV in. I think that helps the story a lot!

So next step...after I let this baby sit for a week, is to go back through and tighten it up. I need to add in some more spots with hero's POV and determine where I can cut some things. It's a tad too long. But I'm not overly concerned with that.

So now I have a little over a month to get this story ready for pitching at The Write Stuff Writer's Conference the end of March.

Follow the Bouncing Word Count!

I am in the middle of a major edit on my 3rd novel, Spellbound. It was originally written in 1st person and I decided to do a POV change on the entire thing. Huge undertaking...yes....hard...no, not at all. And I'm quite enjoying being able to add in my hero's thoughts! Very fun actually!!

But what I'm noticing as I do this edit, my word count keeps fluctuating. It goes up when I write in some of my male characters POV, then goes down when I edit out a blah paragraph. And now that I'm in the middle of copy edits with my editor for A Bitch Named Karma, I am learning soooooooooooooooooo much and it's amazing how I read my work now and can instantly pick out spots that are worded wrong. And dialog tags...I never thought I was horrible with them...but boy...I am cutting a bunch out!

Love that I am constantly learning new things and strengthening my writing!!

So overall the word count makes me happy. For the moment it's lower than it was when I originally finished the story...but I know there are spots I need to add in more of my hero's thoughts...so I expect it to end up back where it originally was.

I'm doing it...I'm changing the POV of my ENTIRE 93,000 word novel.

Yep......I decided it was a must. The entire thing is written in 1st person and sicne it's romance, I decided it would be in my best interest to change it to 3rd. I am keeping the original though.

So here I go. At first I was going to edit the entire thing first..again...go through...look for all the adverbs, work on taking out all those no no words...really change the spots that tell instead of show. THEN I would start the POV switch. But I decided it would be a much better idea to do the POV switch first.

So has anyone done this before....any advice???? So far it seems pretty simple....just a matter of going though each line and changing I to her, she, character's name, etc...

I will also be adding in some of the hero's perspective too...which I never could do before...so this will be interesting.

I have a deadline in mind here for the POV change and the rest of the editing. I am attending a conference the end of March and I hope to pitch this book then. Do you think I can accomplish this all in, oh, just over 3 months time??? I think it's doable!

Okay...if anyone has the time...I need some opinions.

I am debating on a POV switch...but the entire book is finished....92,000 words. This would be a MAJOR project. Book is written in 1st, debating on switching to 3rd so I can insert some POV from the hero.

So here goes. First scene. What do you like better?

The original in 1st:

I sighed and rolled my eyes as I answered the question for the third time.

“Yes, Mrs. Vandewater, your daughter’s wedding bouquet will be delivered to your house by noon along with all of the attendant’s flowers.”

I slouched into my leather desk chair and doodled the name Vandewater on a yellow legal pad. I added horns to the V and a pointed tail to the R. As the owner of a service oriented business, “The customer is always right” becomes a motto I have no choice but to live by, regardless of how insane it makes me sometimes. Numerous times I would have liked to take this lovely adage and chuck it right out the window, watching it splatter on the street like a water balloon tossed from ten stories up. What joy I’d have telling the customer exactly what I thought of them and where they could take their “one last question”. But in the end my desire to please everyone triumphs.

“No, I will not get lost getting to your house. I have the directions you gave me, plus printed directions off the Internet. I also have your home phone number, your cell phone number and your maid’s cell phone number programmed into my phone just in case.”

The door chime sounded and I watched a wide-eyed twenty-something step over the threshold. Her face beamed as her head slowly panned the shop. She smiled as she stepped toward the nearest shelf and caressed a plumed guestbook pen.
High-pitched screeches resonated from the receiver of the phone and I turned my attention back to this year’s Momzilla, a severe pain in the ass that had given headaches to my headaches. Each wedding season there had to be one nut and this lady was the whole can. She had driven me completely crazy for the past nine months, ever since she and her blue-eyed, blonde of a daughter/princess/pretty puppet on a string walked into my shop.

“Yes, I already spoke with the caterer about setting up the centerpieces exactly how you described. Is there anything else?…Okay then, I will see you on Saturday. Have a wonderful day!”

The greeting rolled off my tongue quite naturally with my perfected fake niceness, even though my brain was ready to explode. I then took a deep breath and let it out, purging my body of all things Vandewater.

“Hello! I’m Roda,” I said as I approached my newest client. “Can I help you with something?”

“Um, yeah, I guess. I uh, just got engaged,” she smiled coyly and waved her sparkly little diamond in front of me. It was a really pretty one. In this line of work I see many diamond rings and I’d seen my share of ugly ones over the years. This one was simple yet elegant, the kind I’d dreamed of seeing on my own finger someday. But first I needed to find a man willing to stick around for more than a month or two.

“Oh, how wonderful! Congratulations! Have you set a date?”

“Yes, June 7th of next year.”

I heard the phone ring as I showed her around the shop, pointing out various books, magazines and bouquet samples.

“Roda,” my assistant called out. “Line two is for you. It’s Mrs. Vandewater.”

“You’ll have to excuse me one moment,” I said to the new bride and sat her down with a photo album filled with pictures my past brides had sent me, snapshots showcasing the beautiful floral bouquets I made for them. I dragged my feet over to my desk, plopped into my chair and took a cleansing breath before picking up the receiver.

Mrs. Vandewater and her daughter Penelope had sat with me at least a dozen times to choose the bouquets and other flower arrangements for the wedding with several of those times being impromptu visits and of course only five minutes before I planned to close up shop for the night. In between our meetings, Mrs. Vandewater called me at least once a week to ask the most mundane of questions. Each and every time she called I cringed, but thanks to my fake niceness, I proudly maintained my professionalism. This was one wedding I could not wait to be done with. Only had three more days to go.

“Yes, Mrs. Vandewater. What can I do for you?”

“I need to make sure there won’t be any of that tacky netting in my Penelope’s bouquet. You know how I hate anything cheap.”

I answered her as politely as possible, even though she could have found the information herself if she simply looked at her copy of the order. It had been printed in big bold letters: ‘NO TULLE WHATSOEVER’.

After going over the directions with me yet again, I finally hung up the phone. I looked up to find my new bride-to-be standing in front of a full length mirror holding one of my silk bouquet samples, a simple hand-tied arrangement of white roses and Lily of the Valley. I took a rhinestone encrusted tiara off the shelf, fluffed its finger-length veil and placed it atop her head.

“What do you think?”

“Wow,” she replied as her eyes glossed over. The smiles I’d seen in that mirror were what I lived for. Those moments got me through the insane headache moments of other brides and their mothers and reminded me why I loved my job so much.

“Will I really look like one of those pictures on my wedding day?” she asked while pointing to a poster-sized print on the wall.

“I’ll do everything I can to make sure you do!” I promised.


New in 3rd:

Roda Morgan sighed and rolled her eyes as she answered the question for the third time.

“Yes, Mrs. Vandewater, your daughter’s wedding bouquet will be delivered to your house by noon along with all of the attendant’s flowers.”

She slouched down in her leather desk chair and doodled on a yellow legal pad, taking the name Vandewater and added horns to the V and a pointed tail to the R. As the owner of a service oriented business, “The customer is always right” became a motto she had no choice but to live by, regardless of how insane it sometimes made her. Numerous times she would have liked to chuck that motto right out the window, watching it splatter on the street like a water balloon tossed from ten stories up. What joy she’d have telling the customer exactly what she thought of them and where they could take their “one last question”. But in the end, her desire to please everyone won out.

“No, I will not get lost getting to your house. I have the directions you gave me, plus printed directions off the Internet. I also have your home phone number, your cell phone number and your maid’s cell phone number programmed into my phone just in case.”

The door chime sounded and Roda looked up to find a wide eyed twenty-something. She had a glossed-over look in her eyes and began browsing around the shop, stopping to caress a fluffy guestbook pen and smiled.

More screeching came from the receiver of the phone and Roda turned her attention back to this year’s Momzilla, a severe pain in the ass that had given headaches to her headaches. Each wedding season there had to be one nut and this lady was the whole can. She had driven Roda completely crazy for the past nine months, ever since she and her blue-eyed, blonde of a daughter/princess/pretty puppet on a string walked into her shop, Bridal Blossoms by Roda.

“Yes, I already spoke with the caterer about setting up the centerpieces exactly how you described. Is there anything else?...Okay then, I will see you on Saturday. Have a wonderful day!”

The greeting rolled off her tongue quite naturally with what she called “fake niceness”, even though her brain was ready to explode. She took a deep breath and let it out, purging her body of all things Vandewater.

“Hello! I’m Roda,” she said as she approached her newest client. “Can I help you with something?”

“Um, yeah, I guess. I uh, just got engaged,” she smiled coyly and waved her sparkly little diamond in front of Roda. She admired it, a simple yet elegant setting; one she’d dreamed of seeing on her own finger someday. But first she needed to find a man willing to stick around for more than a month or two.

“Oh, how wonderful! Congratulations! Have you set a date?”

“Yes, June 7th of next year.”

The phone rang as Roda showed the bride-to-be around the shop, pointing out various books, magazines and bouquet samples.

“Roda,” her assistant called out. “Line two is for you. It’s Mrs. Vandewater.”

“You’ll have to excuse me one moment,” she said to her customer and sat her down with a photo album filled with pictures past brides had sent in, snapshots showcasing the beautiful floral bouquets Roda made for them. She dragged her feet over to the desk, plopped into the chair and took a cleansing breath before picking up the receiver.

Mrs. Vandewater and her daughter Penelope had sat with Roda at least a dozen times to choose the bouquets and other flower arrangements for the wedding with several of those times being impromptu visits and of course only five minutes before the shop closed for the night. In between meetings, Mrs. Vandewater called at least once a week to ask the most mundane of questions. Each and every time she called Roda cringed, but proudly maintained her professionalism and most treasured trait. This was one wedding she could not wait to be done with. Only three more days to go.

“Yes, Mrs. Vandewater. What can I do for you?”

“I need to make sure there won’t be any of that tacky netting in my Penelope’s bouquet. You know how I hate anything cheap.”

Roda answered her as politely as possible, even though she could have found the information herself if she simply looked at her copy of the order. It had been printed in big bold letters: ‘NO TULLE WHATSOEVER’.

After going over the directions yet again, she finally hung up the phone. Roda looked up to find the new bride-to-be standing in front of a full length mirror holding one of the silk bouquet samples, a simple hand-tied arrangement of white roses and Lily of the Valley. Roda took a rhinestone encrusted tiara off the shelf, fluffed its finger-length veil and placed it atop her head.

“What do you think?”

“Wow,” she replied as her eyes glazed once again. The smiles Roda had seen in that mirror were what she lived for. Those moments got her through the insane headache moments of other brides and their mothers and reminded her why she loved her job so much.

“Will I really look like one of those pictures on my wedding day?” the bride asked while pointing to a poster-sized print on the wall.

“I’ll do everything I can to make sure you do!” Roda promised.