Very often we hear- "Life is short...make the most of it." And I think we all plan to, but responsibilities get in the way. We resort to- "I'll have time later...." But nothing drives home the fact that there isn't always time later like a young person being robbed of their life.
I have always been a Live Life to the Fullest kind of gal. We are always doing fun things with our kids and just hubby and me, with our friends. I want to be 80 and say, "Man, I did a lot of cool stuff!" I don't want to be 80 and have regrets....wondering what I did with my time on earth.
If given the choice between doing housework or doing something fun with my family, fun and family always wins. Dishes can wait. The laundry can pile. If we run out of clean underwear, then we have a problem....but otherwise, we're good!
We're not rolling in dough, but our bills are always paid on time. We spend the rest of our money enjoying life. We just aren't huge savers and we never will be. When given the choice of putting $100 in the bank and saving it, or spending it doing something fun with my kids.....I'm sure you know what wins. We rarely buy our kids "stuff," but we sure spend money on experiences and fun. I know many people need the security of a hefty bank account and I can respect that. But that's not us. We'd rather have a small nest egg and spend the rest on us, doing things we love, with the people we love...making memories.
I have also hear people say, "I want to (fill in the blank) someday." Write a book, learn to play an instrument, travel to a certain place, run a marathon, take an art class..... Why is it always "someday?" Someday might not ever come. If there's something you want to do in your life, then do it. Make it happen!
Because there are so many people who were never given the chance to make things happen for themselves. Because their lives were cut short. Their tomorrow never came. And I guarantee you they are looking down from wherever they are, yelling at you to get off your ass and just do it.
Rest in Peace Emily. Your vibrant light will be missed.....
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Monday, October 26, 2015
Friday, August 31, 2012
Fear
Earlier this week a terrible thing happened in a town not far from me. An innocent 5-year old little girl was murdered by a teen the family knew well and had trusted. As of right now, the motive is not clear.
As a mom of a 9 year-old girl and 4 year-old boy, I sit here completely terrified. How can I prevent this from happening to us?
For me there is no greater fear than death...my own, and of those I love. One moment I want to pull my kids and husband close and never ever leave the house. Just stay here in our little bubble. But the next moment I tell myself I will not let fear run my life. Is there a happy medium? Who knows? I'm sure this family thought they were fine. The girl was at her grandparent's house, as she often was, with a friend she often saw. They believed he was a good kid...he routinely helped the grandfather with chores around the house. What would make him do such a heinous thing?
I don't watch the news...and this is why. If I saw all the bad in the world, it would consume me. It would keep me up at night. It may sound like I am choosing to be ignorant..and maybe to some degree I am, but for my own sanity, I need to try and stay positive. That does not mean I am stupid or blissfully unaware. I am careful about everything I do, especially when it comes to my kids.
Sometimes my husband, and his family, who live in a rural town, think my city upbringing has made me paranoid. My husband used to laugh when I would lock our car doors in our own driveway. He's since reformed and become more careful after breaking free of his sheltered small-town bubble.
There is a lot of bad in the world...but I do believe there is good too. I see it all the time. It's extremely sad that there are people that, for whatever reason, feel the need to harm others. I just don't understand it.
As a mom of a 9 year-old girl and 4 year-old boy, I sit here completely terrified. How can I prevent this from happening to us?
For me there is no greater fear than death...my own, and of those I love. One moment I want to pull my kids and husband close and never ever leave the house. Just stay here in our little bubble. But the next moment I tell myself I will not let fear run my life. Is there a happy medium? Who knows? I'm sure this family thought they were fine. The girl was at her grandparent's house, as she often was, with a friend she often saw. They believed he was a good kid...he routinely helped the grandfather with chores around the house. What would make him do such a heinous thing?
I don't watch the news...and this is why. If I saw all the bad in the world, it would consume me. It would keep me up at night. It may sound like I am choosing to be ignorant..and maybe to some degree I am, but for my own sanity, I need to try and stay positive. That does not mean I am stupid or blissfully unaware. I am careful about everything I do, especially when it comes to my kids.
Sometimes my husband, and his family, who live in a rural town, think my city upbringing has made me paranoid. My husband used to laugh when I would lock our car doors in our own driveway. He's since reformed and become more careful after breaking free of his sheltered small-town bubble.
There is a lot of bad in the world...but I do believe there is good too. I see it all the time. It's extremely sad that there are people that, for whatever reason, feel the need to harm others. I just don't understand it.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
The Blogfest of Death- Better late than never??
****I feel so horrible!! This was supposed to be posted earlier today, but unfortunately, I was having some internet issues. :( I sincerely apologize!!!!
I did a blogfest a few months ago and I quite enjoyed it! Very fun to participate in!!!
But when I came across this one at Tessa's Blurb, I wasn't sure if it was for me. Death??? I don't write paranormal stuff or action adventure type of stories, so death is not something I really write on a regular basis. But I do from time to time. Most of my writing is true to life type stories, and unfortunately, death is a part of life.
So for this Blogfest, I am sharing this scene with you. I can't say enjoy...cause it's really sad, but some feedback would be wonderful. :)
The party guests had congregated near the kitchen to see what the drama was and I suddenly felt like a monumental ass. Half hour into the party and I had already ruined my little man’s perfect day. Never in my life had I wanted to be anything like my mother, until that moment. Her parties were always perfect. She never burnt a single thing.
I turned and walked toward the bathroom, needing to get away from all the eyes before I burst into tears. Two months in and the pregnancy hormones were already working overtime. I blew my nose and re-powdered my face. Might as well pee too, since I was already in there. As I pulled on the toilet paper, I noticed a very bright dot on the center of my very plain underwear.
So much for not bursting into tears.
A knock came on the door. “Lex, you okay?”
“Get in here!” I yelled to Rich through my sobs, not caring if I sounded hysterical.
“It’s okay,” he said after closing the door behind him. “No one cares about the food.”
“Look!” I showed him my underwear and the pea-sized spot. His eyes widened like flying saucers.
“That’s bad, isn’t it?”
“Yes…no. I don’t know!”
He knelt in front of me and pulled me to him. “What can I do?”
“Can you get my pregnancy book from the night stand?” I managed to calm myself down and think rationally. I thought for sure I had read about spotting in the first trimester.
Rich brought the book in to me and I flipped to one of the early chapters. I then read from the book. “Pink spotting is common during the first trimester, and is usually caused by the egg implanting into the lining of the uterus.”
“But this is bright red,” Rich said, stating the obvious. I scanned further down the page.
“The most frightening type of spotting or bleeding during the first trimester is fresh blood, or bright red. While this can be serious, it is not always confirmation that a miscarriage is occurring.” I looked up at Rich, both of us wearing an expression of panic. “Many things can cause bright red spotting or bleeding. If you are experiencing cramping or clotting, this could signify something serious. Seek medical care as soon as possible.”
“Are you cramping?”
“No. I feel fine…normal.”
“So what should we do?”
“I don’t know. We have a house full of people. And my doctor’s office is closed.”
“We can go to the hospital.”
I thought for a minute. “No. It’s okay. It’s probably nothing.”
“Are you sure?”
“This is Preston’s big day. I’m not gonna ruin it.” I wiped and looked at the toilet paper. Nothing. I held it up for Rich. “See. It’s done. No more blood.”
I freshened up again and tried my best to make myself not look like I had just been crying. I rejoined the party and pretended like nothing had happened. I sat with Preston on my lap as we opened all kinds of fun new toys and clothes and the tricycle that Rich and I had picked out. Camera flashes came from all over the room with wide smiles behind each and every one.
Cake time and I sat Preston on the dining room table with a huge sugary confection glowing in front of him. As our family and friends started an off-pitch rendition of
“Happy Birthday to You,” I felt a small pain jab at my stomach. My eyes rose and met with Rich’s on the other side of the table. He saw my expression and immediately his wide smile went flat.
The pain sharpened, like a shard of glass being jammed into my mid-section. I gripped one of the dining room chairs and fought to stay on my feet. Me crippling over in pain would only cause mass hysteria. And I didn’t want that for my boy’s big day.
Rich made it to my side before the song had ended. “Are you okay?”
“No,” I answered as cheers erupted all around.
I grabbed Marcus’s arm and told him I needed to run to the store.
“Right now?”
“Yes.”
Maybe he sensed that something was wrong. I’m sure the looks on both mine and Rich’s faces were a giveaway. All he said was “okay” and turned his attention back to the table and the birthday boy.
By the time Rich and I got into a cab, I could tell that my underwear were soaked through. With blood. Intense cramping continued to hammer at my abdomen, in waves, just like labor.
Forty-five minutes later, we were in the ER exam room waiting for the on-call obstetrician to come in. But my pains had slowed considerably. That had to be a good thing, right?
A stout man with graying hair came in, followed by a woman wheeling a machine. I recognized it immediately—an ultrasound machine.
He didn’t say much, aside from “Hello. I’m Dr. Leiman,” and after sticking his hand up inside me, asked if it hurt when he pressed on my stomach. It didn’t.
The ultrasound tech lubed up the wand and inserted it. She moved it around and fiddled with the machine and I struggled to make out what was on the screen. It was dark and blank and silent. I didn’t hear the whump whump whump of a baby’s heartbeat. But maybe this ultrasound machine didn’t have sound.
The doctor turned to me. “I’m sorry Ms. Marshall. But you’ve lost your baby.”
“No, that can’t be right. The pains have weakened. I feel better now.”
“I think you’re through the worst of it.” He turned to the screen and pointed to a little blob. “See this here?”
I nodded.
“That’s most likely the fetus. But there’s no heartbeat.”
I strained my eyes, praying for something on that grainy screen to move or blink or do something so this nightmare would end.
I did a blogfest a few months ago and I quite enjoyed it! Very fun to participate in!!!
But when I came across this one at Tessa's Blurb, I wasn't sure if it was for me. Death??? I don't write paranormal stuff or action adventure type of stories, so death is not something I really write on a regular basis. But I do from time to time. Most of my writing is true to life type stories, and unfortunately, death is a part of life.
So for this Blogfest, I am sharing this scene with you. I can't say enjoy...cause it's really sad, but some feedback would be wonderful. :)
The party guests had congregated near the kitchen to see what the drama was and I suddenly felt like a monumental ass. Half hour into the party and I had already ruined my little man’s perfect day. Never in my life had I wanted to be anything like my mother, until that moment. Her parties were always perfect. She never burnt a single thing.
I turned and walked toward the bathroom, needing to get away from all the eyes before I burst into tears. Two months in and the pregnancy hormones were already working overtime. I blew my nose and re-powdered my face. Might as well pee too, since I was already in there. As I pulled on the toilet paper, I noticed a very bright dot on the center of my very plain underwear.
So much for not bursting into tears.
A knock came on the door. “Lex, you okay?”
“Get in here!” I yelled to Rich through my sobs, not caring if I sounded hysterical.
“It’s okay,” he said after closing the door behind him. “No one cares about the food.”
“Look!” I showed him my underwear and the pea-sized spot. His eyes widened like flying saucers.
“That’s bad, isn’t it?”
“Yes…no. I don’t know!”
He knelt in front of me and pulled me to him. “What can I do?”
“Can you get my pregnancy book from the night stand?” I managed to calm myself down and think rationally. I thought for sure I had read about spotting in the first trimester.
Rich brought the book in to me and I flipped to one of the early chapters. I then read from the book. “Pink spotting is common during the first trimester, and is usually caused by the egg implanting into the lining of the uterus.”
“But this is bright red,” Rich said, stating the obvious. I scanned further down the page.
“The most frightening type of spotting or bleeding during the first trimester is fresh blood, or bright red. While this can be serious, it is not always confirmation that a miscarriage is occurring.” I looked up at Rich, both of us wearing an expression of panic. “Many things can cause bright red spotting or bleeding. If you are experiencing cramping or clotting, this could signify something serious. Seek medical care as soon as possible.”
“Are you cramping?”
“No. I feel fine…normal.”
“So what should we do?”
“I don’t know. We have a house full of people. And my doctor’s office is closed.”
“We can go to the hospital.”
I thought for a minute. “No. It’s okay. It’s probably nothing.”
“Are you sure?”
“This is Preston’s big day. I’m not gonna ruin it.” I wiped and looked at the toilet paper. Nothing. I held it up for Rich. “See. It’s done. No more blood.”
I freshened up again and tried my best to make myself not look like I had just been crying. I rejoined the party and pretended like nothing had happened. I sat with Preston on my lap as we opened all kinds of fun new toys and clothes and the tricycle that Rich and I had picked out. Camera flashes came from all over the room with wide smiles behind each and every one.
Cake time and I sat Preston on the dining room table with a huge sugary confection glowing in front of him. As our family and friends started an off-pitch rendition of
“Happy Birthday to You,” I felt a small pain jab at my stomach. My eyes rose and met with Rich’s on the other side of the table. He saw my expression and immediately his wide smile went flat.
The pain sharpened, like a shard of glass being jammed into my mid-section. I gripped one of the dining room chairs and fought to stay on my feet. Me crippling over in pain would only cause mass hysteria. And I didn’t want that for my boy’s big day.
Rich made it to my side before the song had ended. “Are you okay?”
“No,” I answered as cheers erupted all around.
I grabbed Marcus’s arm and told him I needed to run to the store.
“Right now?”
“Yes.”
Maybe he sensed that something was wrong. I’m sure the looks on both mine and Rich’s faces were a giveaway. All he said was “okay” and turned his attention back to the table and the birthday boy.
By the time Rich and I got into a cab, I could tell that my underwear were soaked through. With blood. Intense cramping continued to hammer at my abdomen, in waves, just like labor.
Forty-five minutes later, we were in the ER exam room waiting for the on-call obstetrician to come in. But my pains had slowed considerably. That had to be a good thing, right?
A stout man with graying hair came in, followed by a woman wheeling a machine. I recognized it immediately—an ultrasound machine.
He didn’t say much, aside from “Hello. I’m Dr. Leiman,” and after sticking his hand up inside me, asked if it hurt when he pressed on my stomach. It didn’t.
The ultrasound tech lubed up the wand and inserted it. She moved it around and fiddled with the machine and I struggled to make out what was on the screen. It was dark and blank and silent. I didn’t hear the whump whump whump of a baby’s heartbeat. But maybe this ultrasound machine didn’t have sound.
The doctor turned to me. “I’m sorry Ms. Marshall. But you’ve lost your baby.”
“No, that can’t be right. The pains have weakened. I feel better now.”
“I think you’re through the worst of it.” He turned to the screen and pointed to a little blob. “See this here?”
I nodded.
“That’s most likely the fetus. But there’s no heartbeat.”
I strained my eyes, praying for something on that grainy screen to move or blink or do something so this nightmare would end.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
So sad....the only question is "why?"
Found out this morning that a friend passed away...suddenly....major heart attack. He wasn't a good friend of mine, more of an acquaintance for me, friend of my husband and his sisters. He was actually my sister in law's boyfriend's brother. He was a father...his little girl is a year younger than my daughter. And he was only 32......the same age as me.
Death terrifies me more than anything....my own and of those close to me.
I try to take care of myself and my kids, my husband, make sure we stay healthy and go for routine check ups. I encourage my kids to be safe and do not allow them to do dangerous things. We try our best to live life but constantly be aware of our safety.
But you could do all these things and it could mean nothing. Any second, any of us could be taken away. What would my kids do without me? I don't want them to live they're lives without a mother. And if I lost them......I can't even think about that.
Death terrifies me more than anything....my own and of those close to me.
I try to take care of myself and my kids, my husband, make sure we stay healthy and go for routine check ups. I encourage my kids to be safe and do not allow them to do dangerous things. We try our best to live life but constantly be aware of our safety.
But you could do all these things and it could mean nothing. Any second, any of us could be taken away. What would my kids do without me? I don't want them to live they're lives without a mother. And if I lost them......I can't even think about that.
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