Another lightbulb moment....

Recently I've had another huge lightbulb moment in my life. I've had a few over the years. Read about them here!

But this time it was about exercise and nutrition. It took a long time to admit, but I am officially getting older and that meant big changes for my body. My metabolism is not what it used to be. But I was gung ho to prove that none of that mattered. I could get back to the weight I wanted, if I just worked hard. So I hit the gym...hard...ignoring the signs my body gave me that I was overdoing it. I changed my diet and cut out things I loved. (I was MISERABLE!) I became a little obsessed about it all....but still....none of it worked.

And then one day...I got on the floor to do some stretches and ab work and when I stood up pain radiated through my body. And I knew. It was the last straw. That was five months ago and my back is still not right. It might not ever be. It's a chronic condition I've lived with for many years and I know how to handle it. I shouldn't have let myself ignore it.

So I kind of woke up. I had to accept one thing in my life that I might not ever be able to change. And it sucks. Big time. It sucks to work hard and see zero results. It sucks to know I can't push harder because of where I'll end up. It sucks to know I might be stuck like this forever..in a body I'm not really all that happy with.

But I refuse to sacrifice my happiness (I like to eat delicious food! Not all the time, not every day, but on occasion. I know how to use moderation. I refuse to eliminate things from my life completely.) I refuse to do things I know will lead to me being unable to enjoy activities with my kids because I'm in too much pain.

So here I am...doing what I can to stay healthy and happy. I'm trying my best, and that's all any of us can do.

Have you had a fitness/dieting/nutrition lightbulb moment?

Lightbulb Moment- My Book Sucks!

I am openly admitting that one of my unpublished manuscripts, quite frankly, sucks.

I realized this one day last week...and it was a total lightbulb moment.

I had done some major revisions and had sent it to beta readers. I got some feedback from two readers, one writer, one reader who does not also write, and both gave me a ton of things to consider and think about. They had great points and I was excited to get to work. I was all gung ho about fixing it up and sending it out for submission. Then I got an email from one of the other betas..another reader who does not also write. She apologized for having the story for so long. She just didn't have time to read it, but was planning on it. Gave me some feedback on what she had read so far. I told her it was okay. I had already gotten some feedback and had a bunch of things I was working on in the story. It was no big deal if she stopped reading. I mentioned I had another finished manuscript I needed readers for, if she was interested in doing that instead. She said "sure."

I sent the file and later that night she emailed me and said she had already read 176 pages. She emailed me the next afternoon saying she'd finished it. LOVED it. It sucked her in from page one and she did not want to stop reading. She loved the twists and turns. The ending surprised her. It was all the things every writer dreams of hearing about their story.

And then came my lightbulb moment. She started reading MS #1 and she just did not have time. But MS #2, she MADE time to read it...all...in two days....with a full time job, husband and 1 year-old son. Just that right there told me everything I needed.

I knew MS #1 needed more tension..in my MCs life, in the hero and heroine's relationship. Everything was so easy. Problems were resolved too quickly. I knew this form my other beta's feedback. But it had never really occurred to me that it was just a boring story.....that needed too much work to fix.

But I do now. And I am so ready to perfect MS #2! I was excited about the book before...I'd felt it was really good. But I'd had those feelings before. But this new feedback definitely confirms it a little more!

So, I have decided to move on from MS#1. I wrote it a while back...when I was still figuring things out. (Which doesn't mean I have things totally figured out now, but I do know more than I did when I wrote it!) I am at peace with my decision to shelve it permanently. I had shelved it in the past, but never with the intention of never picking it up again. But maybe someday I can start from scratch and use the same characters. There's always that! :)