Enjoying Your Job

I absolute adore my jobs--both of them. One lets me be creative and fulfills that part of me. The other is like second nature, effortless. I truly love both of them and never thought I'd find one career to love.....but I'm lucky enough to have two.

But there seems to be this thing that surrounds me.....I feel it from society, from my family..... That because I actually LIKE my jobs, and it often doesn't feel like "work" to me, that I'm not really working. That I don't have the right to be exhausted, mentally or physically. They think I have fun all day, so it's not really "work". They think they have more right to be exhausted, because they leave the house and go to a job they dislike, and therefore, more right to relaxation when they come home.

I run two businesses from home, neither of which I can punch a clock for. If I'm on deadline, you better believe I'm working all day, making dinner, then going back to it. If I get client phone calls or emails at 9 am or 9 pm, I'm there for them. I LOVE my jobs, but I work my butt off. I work my butt off  BECAUSE I love my jobs.

And let's just talk a minute about the fact that I work from home. I know many people would kill for that luxury, and I truly know how lucky I am. I am SOOOOOO thankful! Me being home makes my life--and my family's life--much easier. I love the flexibility. But that does not mean I sit home every day and watch TV or fool around. If you see me on social media during the day, it does not mean I'm not working my butt off. Social media is actually a HUGE part of both of my businesses. I can't thrive without it. But sometimes I need a minute to relax and take a break. That's when I go online and watch stupid videos, or read articles about celebrities, or comment on my friend's posts and photos.

Anyone else out there feel the same way I do?? Do you have people in your life that do not respect your job? That don't understand what it means to actually love what you do?

It's all about balance

I think balance is the thing many people struggled with, especially women. Society expects women to be the caretakers of the family and home. But in today's world, women usually have to also hold a job, whether it be outside the home, or like the lucky ones, working from home.

I used to work full time out in the world. But when we had our first child, I left that job to pursue my other career goals- a home-based floral business. Plus, I wanted to be home with our children. It was the best of both worlds. In the 9 years since leaving my 9-6 day job, I have changed careers, but my new one still allows me to stay home.

I'm working real hard toward a career as a novelist. I'm on my way, but it is a slow process. And logically, the more time I spend working/writing, the faster I will get there. The more books I write, the more books I can get out into the world, and therefore, make money. BUT...am I willing to spend every waking moment at my computer, sacrificing time with my family and friends?? The answer is no.

During the day I do what I can with my time....trying to work as efficiently as possible. There are days I stay on my computer after my daughter comes home from school...hubby will sometimes make dinner. But the evenings are for my family. We do what we need to do. I help with homework, bathe kids, go to extra curricular activities, read with my kids. Then once they're down for the night, it's time for me and hubby to have some relaxation together. It may sound stupid, but we really enjoy watching tv together. We love to laugh together and predict who will win on Chopped.

My husband doesn't work a normal job...he works most weekends. So his "weekend" is often a Tuesday and Wednesday or a Thursday and Friday. If we need to run errands or we just want to spend the day together, I have to also "take a day off". And weekends...even though my hubby is working, most of the world is not. Many times we have things to do on weekends and that takes me away from my writing.

Don't get me wrong...I make good use of my time. I didn't write 37,000 words in 15 days by slacking off. But I will not sacrifice time with my family to further my career. I won't look back at my life when I'm 80 and have regrets.

I'm finding my balance...are you???

How many careers have you had???

I know many people pick a career when they're in college, even high school, and stick with it for life. I commend that dedication! I thought I had done the same thing. I went to a vocational high school and really loved what I was doing. I was in Horticulture and though we'd learned many aspects of growing and cultivating and designing, I'd gravitated toward flowers and floral design. I'd worked an internship my senior year of high school at a local flower shop. I had my future career mapped out.

I went to college to further my education. I worked a couple different jobs afterward and eventually landed a great job I adored. But I did know it was temporary. I'd always wanted to run my own business. I'd known other designers who'd run successful floral business out of their homes and that's what I'd wanted. And I did it. For about 9 years I ran a successful home-based business doing flowers for weddings.

But....after a while...I didn't love it anymore. I found other things I enjoyed more, and even though it was a risk, I gave up the business and decided to pursue a writing career.

So far, it's going well. But I have to say, way harder than I'd ever thought. My floral career was a piece of cake compared to this.

But there are times...like last night. Something will trigger thoughts and memories. I had a random desire to make a floral arrangement. It's still like second nature to me.

Have you switched careers? Why? Did you find success easily? Were you happier?

When I grow up...

Adults always ask kids what they want to be when they grow up. I wonder how many actually do become what they'd wanted to be when they were 4 or 5 years old? I think there'd be a surplus firemen and ballerinas. :)

As far as I can remember, the first thing I ever wanted to be was a teacher, probably 6-7 years old. And that is COMPLETELY hysterical to me now. I am not good at teaching anyone anything. There have been times I've been asked to teach and explain..like in dance class, or crafting and scrapbooking, even in writing, and I just do not possess the ability to explain how I do things. I just do them. My daughter is only in 3rd grade and already I am having a real hard time trying to teach her and help her with homework. And I have very little patience. I could never ever home school. I think I would go completely insane. IMHO, teachers go through a lot of schooling...in NY state all teachers need a masters degree...and I just can't see how I would ever be able to do as good a job as the professionals. But huge kudos to those that do home school, though!

Anyway....

I remember later on, like 11-12, when I was just starting to play with makeup and stuff. I'd wanted to be a cosmetologist. I'd wanted to do everything: hair, nails, makeup, the works. Years later, after I was in high school, I found out there was a high school in my city with a cosmetology vocational program. I'd wished I'd known about it before choosing my high school. But knowing what I know now about myself, I'm not sure I would have been happy doing that either. I have no patience for my own hair now. But I do enjoy putting on makeup.

When I was in 8th grade, I had to choose which high school to go to. In my city, each area has it's district school...the one you went to if you didn't get into one of the good schools. But no one really wanted to go to them. You had to apply to the better schools and hope you got in. I knew which school I wanted to go to....but it was a vocational school and I had to pick what vocation to apply to. I remember going to Open House and touring the greenhouses. It seemed like fun. So I applied for Horticulture. And got in. I really did enjoy it, but it wasn't until my junior year that I decided I did want a career in horticulture. I wanted to be a floral designer.

But then my senior year came and I became the reporter for our FFA chapter. (I lived in a city, so there wasn't any actual farming going on, but we did many of the other FFA things like floriculture and such.) I wrote articles for local newspapers and I liked seeing my name and words in print. I applied to two colleges, one for Floriculture Merchandising (a program designed for those who wanted to own and operate a flower shop) and Journalism.  I got into both programs. I chose floriculture, probably because it was more familiar. I worked in the floral industry for almost 14 years before leaving it to pursue my dreams of publication in novel-length fiction.

Funny what you used to want and where you actually turn out and the different paths you take to get there.

Job vs. Career

Do you have a job or a career?

There is a huge difference between the two, if you ask me. A job is just what you do to make money. It doesn't necessarily make you happy. It pays the bills. A career is also an occupation, but you find fulfillment with it.

I have been very blessed to have had two careers in my lifetime so far...and who knows...maybe there will be more! I started out with a career as a floral designer and when I was no longer happy doing it, I worked toward a career as an author.

And I think women choose careers more with fulfillment in mind than men. As archaic as it is, I think men feel the need to be the provider and choose jobs that make good money and have good benefits even if it doesn't necessarily make them happy. 

What do you think??

My light bulb moments

I think most people have moments in their life where, like a light bulb, you suddenly see the light. Something wakes you up, snaps you out of whatever you were in.

I've had two light bulb moments that I can recall right now. I'm sure there've been more, but these two stick out, especially the first one.

When I was in college for Floriculture Merchandising, I knew I never wanted to run my own flower shop like my courses were preparing me for. But I did want to run my own business. I'd always had the plan to run a business that only specialized in wedding design. I wasn't real fond of the rest of the stuff that came along with being a floral designer: funerals, everyday birthdays and such. So after a few years working in a  flower shop as a designer, I did it. I went out on my own and I had built quite a reputation with solid referrals. It worked well for a while...until my daughter got older and I wasn't able to do the work during the day like I'd planned all along. And I started writing fiction...seriously with the intent of being published. My light bulb moment came one night around 10 pm when I was working in my design room with several hours of work yet to do. I was completely exhausted. And then my light bulb illuminated. Other nights I sat at my computer writing til 1-2 a.m. and had to force myself into bed cause I knew my daughter would be up in only 6-7 hours.

I realized I did not love my work anymore. And I needed to do something about it.

Light bulb moment number two came when my son was an infant. I apologize now if this is all too much information. I had breastfed my daughter exclusively to 6 months, then started supplementing with formula. At nine months, she gave it up completely. But there had never been a shortage of breast milk. My son, on the other hand, maybe he just ate too much, or maybe my body had changed, but the supply just was not there. I kept trying though, as excruciatingly painful as it was. Around his two month bday, my light bulb went off. My son was crying and I picked him up...but to hold him against my chest to comfort him, it hurt sooooooooooooooooo bad. I had to hand him off to my husband. That was it.....I stopped nursing him. It was just not worth it to keep doing it when I was in so much pain I couldn't even hold my baby. (And FYI, I did try to keep pumping but the supply had just diminished too much.)

So....have you had any light bulb moments??? What did you do about them?? Were you happier after??

The Bacon Job

The first time I ever heard that saying, I thought it was positively perfect. The Bacon Job. Most writers have one- the job they do that "brings home the bacon". And I too used to have one. It used to be my dream job, actually.

I went to a vocational high school and took horticulture. I wasn't so much into landscaping or greenhouse stuff, but I really loved floral design. My senior year I did an internship at a local flower shop. I really loved it, but even then I knew I never wanted to own my own flower shop. But I did want to work in the floral industry. I got my associates degree in Floriculture Merchandising and my senior business project was a business plan for a wedding shop, all kinds of wedding -related items plus a floral service only for weddings. No day to day business. I honestly had no desire to do funeral work or everyday birthday arrangements. I loved wedding work. It's safe to say that back then, it was a passion!

After that I worked in the floral business, a couple different places until I settled at one. I worked there for five years and held many high responsibility positions: I did most of the shops window displays, I did most of the wedding consultations and in turn, most of the wedding work. I helped with book keeping and inventory. And I'd started doing weddings on the side. Running my own business had always been my goal. When I became pregnant with my first child, I gave my boss the news that I would not be staying on after the baby was born. It was probably one the of toughest things I've ever had to do.

I thoroughly enjoyed my business for a few years. I loved bringing so much joy to people on one of the most special days of their lives. But it wasn't without it's stress. There was tons. And it slowly started to eat away at my enthusiasm. I'd started writing by that time and I found myself wanting to do that more and more.

I'd decided to give up my business, way before I had a publishing contract. There were many reasons. One of the main ones was money and my business really wasn't bringing in much. So even though it did bring in some bacon, it wasn't enough to keep doing it if I really didn't enjoy it anymore. My husband and I decided together to end it so I could focus on my writing. His salary was enough to support us, though not in the lap of luxury. But we've made it work. And we kinda of had this agreement. I had 5-1/2 years after baby #2 was born. That's how long I had til he would start kindergarten. I needed to be bringing in some kind of money by that time or I would go out and get a job when he went to school full time. He just turned 3 this week, so I have 2-1/2 years to go. So far I think I'm off to a good start. I am bringing in money from my writing, slowly but surely.

Do I miss my bacon job?? Yes...sometimes I really do. When I hear that someone is getting married and I can't say "Hey...do you have a florist??" I loved being a part of so many people's wedding days. But I am so completely happy with where my career is now. I don't regret my decision at all.

So what do you do to bring home the bacon?? Do you plan on doing it forever...or will you someday move on to something else??

Don't forget my Show Me The Love Blogfest!! It's gonna be fun!! Make sure you sign up!

Only ONE week to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Memorial Day everyone!!!!!!! My plans for today include a trip to a nearby amusement park that we have season passes for! Hope you all are having a fun time as well!!

But the most exciting news- today marks ONE WEEK `til release day for A Bitch Named Karma!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm still not sure how I want to celebrate that day. I will be chaperoning my daughter's zoo field trip, which I am very excited about. They only allow 4 parent volunteers and I was lucky enough to get one of the golden tickets! (It's a lottery if more than 4 parents volunteer, and in this suburbia, there are always tons of parent volunteers!)

My release party is planned for June 12th and I've invited my closest friends, family and writers group members. So far, it's looking like I'll have about 50 or so guests, with a bunch still MIA. (Why can't people rsvp???) Hopefully Mother Nature will give me a warm sunny afternoon and evening. My house cannot hold that many people! :) I wondered if I should even be having a party...the book is being released digitally at first...no books to sign or anything. Print release is still TBA. But I've worked hard for this and I wanted to celebrate. I'm officially starting my writing career...after this when people ask what I do, I can say "I'm an author!"

Two weeks and counting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Two weeks from today, my debut- A Bitch Named Karma will be released!!

I am so so excited!!! Can't believe that it's been a year since receiving the email that changed my life and career! It feels so amazing to know my story will sound be out there for the world to enjoy!! (I hope everyone enjoys it anyway!!)

It will be available for sale on my publishers site: Lyrical Press. And here's my listing on Amazon.

So, of course there will be a mega celebration over here!! Not sure what we'll actually do that day. I am chaperoning my daughter's zoo field trip during the day but maybe a celebratory dinner out will be necessary??? :) We are throwing a party that Saturday and have invited all our friends and family and surely it will be fab! (Hoping mother Nature complies since it will be an outdoor party.)

Sometimes life can be so bittersweet.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds myself in situations where I'm both happy and sad at the same time.

Take today for example. There are many opportunities for my hubby to work overtime at his job. And there are usually times there are so many other guys that want it, there is a list and you are offered overtime based on when the last day you worked OT was. Someone who worked more recently gets put toward the end of the list. Hubby usually doesn't know if he will get it `til maybe an hour or so before he has to go in- guys have up `til an our before the shift starts to call in sick, so that greatly effects the amount of overtime available. Hubby is on the list today for the 3-11 shift.

It's going on 1 and he has not gotten a call yet. They need to call him by 2 if they want him there on time.

I want him to get called- 8 hours of time and a half is VERY nice. But I so want a nice night with my family and husband. I have a movie we need to watch cause we need to return it. And I don't want to watch it alone.

We win and lose no matter what happens.

Do you ever find yourself in those situations???

Choosing a career....and changing your mind.

Some choose for the money-making aspect...others do what they love. There are a few extremely lucky people in this world who do what they love and make a boatload of cash doing it. I don't know if I'll ever be one of those people, but I'll certainly try.

For me, being happy and fulfilled is very important. Your career is what you do for many hours a day- you spend more time at your job each day than you spend with your family. If you don't enjoy it...what's the point??

Yes...money is the point. We all need it....we can't get by without it. We can get by on less if we have to...but how many of us are willing to give up some of our income to ensure our career happiness??

I am one of an extremely small group of lucky women. My husband makes enough money for us to live on without me having a job outside of the home. Now make sure you read that right...I said "live on" not roll around in cash. We get by, our bills are paid, and we can still enjoy some of life's pleasures. It's by no means a walk in the park, but when we had kids we decided it was important to us to have me home to raise the kids. And while doing that, I was given the opportunity to follow my dreams. Thank you hubby...I will forever be grateful!

I used to have a job out of the home..a career...I have a college degree that gave me the title of Floral Designer. I loved my work and at that point in my life knew I wanted to open my own shop one day..but a specialty shop, not just a regular retail flower shop. I wanted to concentrate on weddings. And I did do that out of my home for a few years. Worked okay for a while and I thought I was happy. But things changed...I changed. And I chose a new career.

I've spent the last five years working my tushy off and it's finally paying off. And this new career has made me happier than my last career ever did. I feel fulfilled now.....and I never did before. I hear poeple complain about work and dreading going in and counting down `til the weekend....not me. I never feel like I get to work enough! I work whenever I can...I work on weekends...on Sundays, on holidays!

I wish everyone could feel this way about their career.

Switching careers....pretty scary.....

I'm sure we all remember back to high school when we had to fill out college applications and choose a major. If you think about it, it's pretty ridiculous to ask a 17-year old what they want to do with the rest of their lives. We mature so much after high school and our tastes change.

I had lots of interests back then. But I was lucky. I attended a vocational high school and already had more than 3 years of vocational education under my belt when I filled out college applications. I had already known one thing I definitely liked to do- floral design.

My high school was not one you just went to. Growing up in a large city- Buffalo, NY- there were many high schools to choose from. You had to apply, just like college. Of course, every neighborhood had their district school, where you went if you didn't get into your 1st, 2nd or 3rd choice schools. But you didn't want to go there unless you had to. There were so many other schools to pick from: a couple vocational schools, a technological school, a performing arts school, more... I chose McKinley High School and its Horticulture program. I can't even begin to tell you why...I was 13 and it sounded fun. But I've always been an artsy craftsy kind of person and came to find a real love for floral design.

But by the beginning of my senior year, there were other things I liked too.

I was the reporter for the FFA chapter at my school. I loved writing about club happenings and seeing my name in lights (or rather black print) in small local publications and also a state-wide paper. I won the NY State FFA Reporter's Award that year. I applied to two different colleges- Alfred Sate College for Floriculture Merchandising (to learn to run a flower shop), and Buffalo State College for Journalism.

I chose Floriculture and to this day have no real reason as to why.

I graduated with honors from Alfred State College and went on to work at a couple different flower shops, settling at one and became one their top employees- trusted with most of the shop's displays and about 95% of wedding work (my favorite!) I left there to start my own home-based business when my daughter was born and thoroughly enjoyed that. I wanted to be one of the top wedding florists in Buffalo! And I wanted to add Bridal Consultant to my title as well.

But reality set in and the insane amount of hours I put in was not matched by dollar signs.

And I started writing again.

I finished my first novel and felt so incredibly accomplished. All I wanted to do was write! My love for my floral business started to fade even though I forced myself to go on. My heart was not in it anymore.

Then I had to make a decision....one that was much easier than I thought it would be. I thought my husband would fight me on giving up my income, as little as it was. But he didn't. I officially gave up the business and made plans to pursue a writing career full time. I was due with our second child and we decided I had a 5-year time limit to make it as a writer. And when I say "make it", that meant I had to be bringing in some kind of money. If I didn't make that happen before my son went off to full day kindergarten, I would have to go out and get a part time job. And I did not want that at all.

So here I am...my son just turned two. My debut novel, A Bitch Named Karma, will be out this year from Lyrical Press. I am determined to be successful. People often comment on my determination....as terrifying as it was to go from a sure-thing career to one that "might" happen one day, I just cannot let myself be a failure.

Could I have picked a harder career to try and find success in???

I was thinking today about careers. Most people decide when they go to college what their eventual career will be. They then go to school for 2 years, 4 years, sometimes 6 or more. But when they're done, it's pretty much a guarantee that they will be handed their dream career. (Of course I am talking before the current economic status.)

Except for a writer. At least a fiction writer anyway.

In my experience so far, you can work and work and write and write and no matter how hard you work, it doesn't increase your chances of publishing success. Yes, honing your craft and keeping at it will definitely make you a better writer and we all hope that persistence will pay off someday, but there's no guarantee. Any writer, no matter their age, schooling or if they write for 10 hours a day or 10 minutes, they can never ever know if their dreams will come true.