Fear

Earlier this week a terrible thing happened in a town not far from me. An innocent 5-year old little girl was murdered by a teen the family knew well and had trusted. As of right now, the motive is not clear.

As a mom of a 9 year-old girl and 4 year-old boy, I sit here completely terrified. How can I prevent this from happening to us?

For me there is no greater fear than death...my own, and of those I love. One moment I want to pull my kids and husband close and never ever leave the house. Just stay here in our little bubble. But the next moment I tell myself I will not let fear run my life. Is there a happy medium? Who knows? I'm sure this family thought they were fine. The girl was at her grandparent's house, as she often was, with a friend she often saw. They believed he was a good kid...he routinely helped the grandfather with chores around the house. What would make him do such a heinous thing?

I don't watch the news...and this is why. If I saw all the bad in the world, it would consume me. It would keep me up at night. It may sound like I am choosing to be ignorant..and maybe to some degree I am, but for my own sanity, I need to try and stay positive. That does not mean I am stupid or blissfully unaware. I am careful about everything I do, especially when it comes to my kids.

Sometimes my husband, and his family, who live in a rural town, think my city upbringing has made me paranoid. My husband used to laugh when I would lock our car doors in our own driveway. He's since reformed and become more careful after breaking free of his sheltered small-town bubble.

There is a lot of bad in the world...but I do believe there is good too. I see it all the time. It's extremely sad that there are people that, for whatever reason, feel the need to harm others. I just don't understand it.