Q&A with my heroine Mia!!

It's Valentine's week! The week to celebrate love! We should celebrate love every day--and I do--but I have zero complaints about a week and day dedicated to it!!

My Chick Lit Chat group is doing a fun event this week! Today's festivities include an interview with your heroine! I chose to "interview" Mia Montonari, the co-owner of Classy 'n' Sassy Lingerie from my soon to be released book Try Me On For Size!

So here we go!

1) What three qualities do you find most attractive in a partner?

First of all, he has to be trustworthy. I can't stand liars and cheats. Cleanliness is a major plus. I'm nobody's maid. And I guess the third would be success. I'm dedicated to my job and I need a man who can understand, respect and support that.

2) What’s your idea of romance?

I don't know. Does romance even matter? I'd much rather have a man who can control his bodily functions. Now that's romance!

3) Who's your favorite on-screen couple (Film or TV)?

I don't know if I have one. I don't watch much TV aside from stupid reality shows. It's my one vice.  But I do admire my what my best friend Bryn had with her husband Johnny. Pure perfection. My heart broke for her when he died. I hope to some day find a love like that, but it doesn't look like it's ever going to happen. 

4) What's been your most embarrassing moment in regards to the opposite sex?

Oh God. I have a million. Not sure I can even narrow it down to just one. And I think I'll keep all the sexual embarrassment to myself. But I guess it would have to be the time I was supposed to meet my boyfriend at his friend's house for a costume party. Imagine showing up as Thing 1, blue hair and all, and Thing 2 never shows. Oh and it wasn't just any old costume party. It was a themed Roaring 20's party. Gadsby meets Dr. Suess. 

5) What was your first impression of your partner or crush? How accurate was it?

First impression of Oliver? When I thought he was Ryan, the guy I was interviewing? Hot! Hot! Hot!  With an amazing ass. But I should have known. It was all too good to be true.

6) How have you coped with break-ups in the past?

None of my past relationships lasted very long. I was glad to see them go. I don't have time to waste on men who can't be mature adults. 

7) Which hot actor would you want to be stranded on a deserted island with and why? 

Hard to say, since I'm not real up on what's hot in Hollywood these days. But if I have to pick , I'd have to go back to my youth. I was so in love with Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm pretty sure I wore out my VHS copies of Titanic and Romeo and Juliet. Those eyes. And that smile. 

8) What is the craziest thing you've ever done for love?

Me? Absolutely nothing. I'm still waiting for someone worthy enough of crazy actions. At this rate, I will die never having done a crazy thing.

9) PDA: How much is acceptable?  

Oh no. Not appropriate. I don't want to see people making out while I'm trying to go about my normal day, so I would never subject people to that. But what happens in my office, stays in my office. 

10) What is the best relationship advice you've ever gotten?

Probably when Bryn told me that love and relationships are never perfect, but with the right guy, it's worth it. 

If you like Mia and want to know more about her, here are the presale links for Try Me On For Size!!

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Technology in Contemporary Books

Tonight I'm hosting Chick Lit Chat on Twitter!! Come on by at 8 EST and use the hashtag #chicklitchat! Tonight's topic is technology in contemporary works!

My topic for tonight came from an old episode of Friends. I am a huge fan of the show and I'm in the process of watching the entire series from start to finish on DVD. In one of the early season's episodes, there was a big problem when some of the friends were supposed to be somewhere and they weren't and no one knew where they were and it turned into a huge problem. (I'm blanking on exact details, since I watched this episode a couple months ago.) But anyway, I sat here thinking to myself, "This would't even be an issue today since everyone has cell phones."

This made me think about technology, or lack there of, and it's place in contemporary work.

Obviously when this episode of Friends was made, cell phones existed, but not like they do in today's society. And even in later episodes--I'm now on season 9-- they all have cell phones, but they are old clamshell style. No smartphones. It sure dates the show. Which is perfectly fine for a TV series. But a book?

I see distinct advantages to leaving out as much technology as you can. Authors want their books to live on and be read for years and years to come. No one wants a reader to read it and think the same things I thought while rewatching an old TV episode.

But on the other hand, leaving technology out isn't the best option either. It's a part of our lives. Most people use cell phones, text messaging, Facebook, Twitter, etc…on a daily basis, not to mention computers, TVs, DVD, DVR, the way we listen to music. All these things evolve so fast. Something cutting edge now will be outdated in two years. I even think about a newbie writer working on their first novel. Usually it takes a while…years even. By the time it's done, the technology in that book is most definitely outdated.

But technology is a part of life, and leaving it out can make a contemporary piece of fiction feel very unrealistic.

Book settings- Big City vs. Small Town

When I sat down and started crafting my first book, I naturally set it in a city setting, since that is where I grew up. It was comfortable for me. I went on to write a few more books, also set in cities. The fast-pace excitement of a city setting fit the story.

I wrote a novella and set it in a small town. I wanted to try it out. And I liked it. It was interesting to see the drama that unfolded with the quirky characters you find in that setting. The gossip mill never stops churning! It was addicting and I went on to write a few more books set in small towns.

There is so much to love about a book set in a city, especially if it's a well known major city, like NYC. I set my Karma books there. There is so much excitement in a big city, so much going on. There are all kinds of ways the setting can affect the plot and characters. I have been to NY a couple times, so I can envision it from experience, but there is soooooo much online about NYC that the research is so simple to do. When you set a book in a real city, you have to make sure the details are accurate and with a big city, it's very easy to do. And I think readers enjoy reading about these places. They may be places they might not ever get to visit in real life.

Small towns are so fun to write about. I tend to completely make mine up though, and the crazy quirky people who live there. There is a certain charm to a small town, quaint and cute, but that doesn't mean there isn't drama. My husband grew up in a small town, and I see how everyone knows everything about everyone who lives there. It's hard to keep things secret, and that can definitely add to the drama in a book.

Tonight I am hosting this week's #ChickLitChat on Twitter and my topic is city vs small town. What we love, what we hate, how where we grew up or live currently affects our opinions. Come on by and share your opinions!! 8 PM EST, use the hashtag to join in!

How to Twitter

I can't say I'm a pro at anything. I'm not real sure how anyone can say they are unless they've spent a long time learning the ins and outs of a certain thing. And even then, can a person truly know everything??

But anyway, I do feel like I have a decent handle on Twitter, even if I don't have thousands of followers.

So here's my basic little Twitter How-To!

I know it can be real intimidating for those who have never used Twitter before. I'm the kind of person who likes to get in and just start using something, figure it out as I go. I have always been a hands-on learner. I get bored reading too much text. I often skim. Which can be bad. I know I miss things. Once I get into something and if I hit a snag, then I will go back and read and figure it out. It's probably not a great learning strategy, but it works for me.

The first time I gave Twitter a go, I didn't really get it and didn't have the time to figure it out. So it lost luster fast. I gave it a second try and that's when I really figured it out. Here's what I've learned:

- Twitter is social media-emphasis on social- and it only works if you mix up your posts. It's very encouraged to mix business with pleasure. People want to connect, not just read promo. People will pay more attention to your promo if you have a personal relationship first.

- In relation to the above, many people on Twitter are not there to promote themselves. They are just there to socialize. They're not going to follow you if all you do is talk about your business stuff.

- Reply to other people's Tweets. Converse. I know it's not easy to chat with someone with a 140 character limit, but the more you do it, the better you become at keeping your thoughts brief and getting right to the point.

- Have a few laughs! People are always posting funny things. Twitter can be for fun, not just business purposes.

- Share other people's links, but don't go crazy. It's great to help friends out, but whether it's your own promo or promo for someone else, it's still promo.

- Don't go into it thinking you have nothing to say. Everyone has something to say.

- Use the search feature. If you're interested in a certain topic, search it. You'll be amazed at what you find. If you love knitting, you'll find other Twitterers who also love knitting. If you're a fan of a band, you can find others who are also.

- Use Twitter to connect with local stuff. Follow your newspaper's Twitter feed. Follow local organizations and businesses, sports teams, etc... I get much of my news updates from my Twitter feed and find out about local happenings that way too.

- And lastly, go ahead and follow celebrities! They rarely reply to you, but it really is interesting to get a glimpse into their lives. If you're into that sort of thing!

So there's my simple guide to Twitter! Hope it was helpful! And if you wnat to come check me out on Twitter, click here!

Chick Lit Chat

I don't know if you all know this, but I am one of the hosts of Chick Lit Chat on Twitter!! What is Chick Lit Chat, you ask?? Well, let me explain! :)

A while back, I believe it was my good friend Jen Daiker from Unedited, wanted to start a chat on Twitter to talk about all things Chick Lit. If you are stumped on what that even is, it's a sub genre of women's fiction, traditionally about younger women in an urban setting. The stories are funny and sassy with lots of drama. The genre has evolved over the years, with older characters, moms, small town settings, and the title isn't quite used as much anymore, but there is still a HUGE following. Jen wanted to do something fun to bring together readers and writers to support the genre, and #ChickLitChat was born.

So each week on Thursday night at 8 PM Eastern Standard Time, we all gather on Twitter and chat. You must use the hashtag #chicklitchat to participate. There is always a host and a topic for the week, ranging from our favorite titles, to our favorite types of characters, to writing related topics about plot and dialogue. Every week is something new and every week we have a total blast! I love meeting new people who love the genre as much as I do. It's great for readers because they can meet authors and find out how our minds work! And great for authors, since we love meeting our readers!

So come on over to our chat this week!! Visit the profile for our headquarters- ChickLitChatHQ and give us a follow for reminders and updates to the chat. I'm hosting tonight!! See ya there!!!

Jump in! Be the conversation starter!

Recently there was conversation at my local chapter's RWA meeting about Twitter. Many felt intimidated because it feels like walking into a room where all the people are already in their own conversations. I guess I can see that and understand it.

I am a big fan of Twitter. (Come on over and check me out if you so desire!! Click here!) I wasn't at first though. It was confusing and I wasn't real sure what I was supposed to be doing. I started following others and reading what they had to say. I followed industry professionals and learned so much from them. I started interacted with the people I followed and even the professionals. I became part of the conversations instead of just reading them.

And then I started posting my own thoughts. I heard someone recently call Twitter a micro blog and that's exactly what it is. Tiny little snippets of your mind. I started my own conversations. People started responding to me.

In the real world, I'm not so great at being bold and starting conversations or even joining ones already in progress. But in the Twitter world I am more comfortable. I'm hoping it will help me in real life to become more like that.

Clearing My Head

Sometimes there is so much going on in my brain, or sometimes nothing, which is not good when I need it to have something. During those time I just need to clear my head.

As a writer, I'm often faced with a blank page...that blinking cursor. And there are times it's fantastic. That cursor moves like you wouldn't believe. I make so many typing mistakes because my fingers are moving so fast getting the story out of my head before it disappears, lost in the sea of things floating around in there.

But there are those other times where the blinking cursor is a curse. I don't know what to do next. I don't know where I need to take my characters. Sometimes it's during the creating phase. I have reformed and am now a plotter, but even though I have the entire book planned, it's sometimes difficult to bridge together the scenes I've thought up. Or during the editing phase, when I know I need to fix something, but the solution is just not coming to me.

I need a brain break. And it's not uncommon for me to take several in a day's time. Just short little vacations where my brain can rest and do absolutely nothing worthwhile. And yes...my brain takes it's vacations in Twitterland, Facebookville, and Pinterest City.

I know many people consider these social media sites a complete waste of time. I don't, for many reasons, but I won't go into them all today. Today I am focusing on the break they give my brain. I can go on Twitter and have a laugh, see what my writer buddies are doing, promo myself, help promo a friend. I only stay a minute or two. Then I hop over to Facebook, see what my family and friends are up to today. Stay there a couple minutes. Then maybe some Pinterest for yummy meal ideas or crafts.

My brain takes maybe a 5 minute break and is ready to get back at it. Stepping away form my work, even for a few minutes, can often give me new perspective. It really helps!

Do you take mini breaks while you're writing, or doing whatever job you do? Does it help clear your mind and make you more productive? What do you do on your mini breaks?

Social media makes us LESS social?? I disagree.

Today I came across this Tweet: "If you think that social media, despite the name, hasn't made us less social than ever... you've got rocks in your head."

I think I get what the Tweeter is saying...that people rely too much on social media to communicate and less on actual face to face conversations and phone calls. But I really and truly think social media has made me closer and more in tune with my friends and family.

First of all....Facebook has allowed me to keep in touch with family members from all over the country...even the world. My cousin's husband was stationed in Germany for three years. Facebook allowed me and my cousin to stay in contact and chat whenever we wanted. It's been a long time since we've lived in the same town and FB made it possible for us to become close. And now that she's in Hawaii for the next 3 years, I can still keep in close contact with her. I am able to be a part of my friend's daily lives who no longer live in this area. It allowed me to get to know a cousin I never really knew because she was born and grew up a few states away. Until FB, I had only even seen her a few times in my life. Now, in our mid 30's, I can finally consider her a real friend.

Secondly, I am a mom with a career and kids with activities who has friends with careers and families and activities. I do not have time to go have coffee with every one of my friends and family members each week to see how they are and catch up on their lives. As much as I would love to. Life is different these days. It's not like the 50's when most moms were home all day and could get together and chat. But you know what? I can hop on Facebook for twenty minutes and be caught up on all my friends and their families and what they're doing, have a few laughs, view some photos.

Third, social media has allowed me the opportunity to make friends all over the country and world, who I never would have had the chance to meet otherwise. Wonderful and amazing people. Sometimes you need to go outside your circle of friends to find the support and camaraderie you need. I am a writer and no one I knew in my day to day life did that. I found a writers group in my city from an online community. And they were great. I adored them. But still, none wrote what I wrote and I really craved kinship with those like me. And I found them. Social media helps people to not feel alone. There are people out there just like you, loving what you love, no matter what it is. And technology has allowed us to connect easily.

So, I don't know what you all think, but I guess I have rocks in my head. I am so so thankful for what social media has done for me. No, it's not perfect and it has its drawbacks, but when used properly, it is amazing. There has to be balance, just like all things in life. It should not replace all human interaction, but it is great for when face to face human interaction just isn't possible. But when you are in the presence of other humans, the phones should be put away.

Tweets of the week!!

Here's this week's installment!! Enjoy!!

@jentoinfinity: You're sleeping with the wrong people. RT @INDIEAUTHORHULK WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GET A LITERARY AGENT, BUT SO EASY TO GET CHLAMYDIA?

@MattBryantDFW: The problem with the bat-signal is it lets everybody in freakin' Gotham know he's coming.  It should be a subtle iPhone app.

@RickyGervais: Following someone on Twitter & then complaining about what they tweet about is like stalking someone & complaining that they walk too fast.

@AdvicetoWriters: Writers get paid for what other people get scolded for: daydreaming. We’re supposed to wander. RICHARD WALTER

@RuthiKnox: I just need to say, for the record, because I'm really feeling it today: God, I love being a romance writer.

@thejessbess: I've been calling 1-900-MIX-ALOT, but no answer. So I'm not quite sure how else to kick these nasty thoughts.

@BuffaloGrlProbs: I've been doing a lot of bikram yoga...except room temperature and no stretching and in my bed watching TV. #workoutplan #buffalogirl

@RubenAgency: Don't be too serious as a writer. Or anything. If you're not having fun, you're probably doing it wrong.

Tweets of the Week!

Here we go again! The funniest, most inspiring, and most entertaining Tweets I read this week!

@Lisaurstein: So someone just found my blog searching "Lisa pull my pants down, lisa suk my pp on you tube" my eyes my eyes o.O

@kirstiealley: DWTS makes people happy!!!! Thank you for having me..it's makes me happy too!!! xxxo

@abswrites: I wish people cared about real issues as much as they care about football referees. #justsayin'....

@SW_Messenger: Why am I incapable of using superglue without gluing my fingers together at least once???

@rklipman: HEY I JUST MET YOU STOP AND THIS IS CRAZY STOP BUT PHONES HAVEN'T BEEN INVENTED YET STOP SO TELEGRAM ME MAYBE STOP

@Chrishell7: I feel like I legitimately have the right to key a car that purposely takes 2 parking spaces.


@Pamstucky: Whoever just found my website by searching on "how to make a pterodactyl out of toilet paper roll," Thank you - you made my day!

@honeyrun: You know what's funny? Paintings of Adam & Eve where they both have belly buttons. Think about that, take as much time as you need

@MandyHubbard: We should bring this back. RT @OMGFacts:  In ancient Rome, men found guilty of rape had their testicles crushed between two stones.

Tweets of the Week!

I just came up with this fun new idea. I think it's fun, anyway!!

I am on Twitter pretty often. (@StephaniHaefner, if ya wanna follow!) And I come across some really funny, awesome, inspiring, entertaining Tweets. I sometimes retweet them, but I thought it might be neat to collect them and do a weekly post here!

So here we go!

@saralapolla: I'd never actually do this, but sometimes I feel like auto-rejecting when I see the line "As if _____ wasn't bad enough..." in queries.

@alannacoca: Long pants, long sleeves, a jacket, and hot tea. Autumn is here. Dammit.

@stephbeck123: Think if I add a nice scarf to my outfit it will distract enough for people not to notice if I wear sweat pants to my meeting tonight?

@lindseysine: Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did. Mark Twain

@angelajames: A submission where the author let us know he wouldn't be doing any edits on the sex scenes. Always good to know. #editreport

@redhotbooks: Life is almost always better after a snack.

Is Twitter for you?

I started a Twitter account a while back...and I won't lie. It's main purpose was to stalk follow celebrities. It was pretty cool to read the daily thoughts of people I admired and idolized.

But then I started realizing it might be a good idea to get on there and network with many of my fellow authors. So I started a new account, since the first was not my actual name. (The one I use now is @stephanihaefner, in case you wanna go follow me!) I started following writers I already knew and agents I wanted. I started making lots of friends and it started to be really fun. I gained a small following and it was so cool. And yeah, I still follow celebrities ;)

So is Twitter for everyone? No. It really depends on what you want to gain from social networking.

If you want to share photo albums, keep in touch with family and friends, send lengthy private messages, and organize events, Facebook is definitely far better for all that. Twitter is tough, with it's 140 character limit and all.

If you want to meet new people with similar interests, Twitter is the place. In my opinion, since Twitter has a very limited profile page--bio is all you have and it's pretty short-- to me it feels a bit more private. There's no pics of me, accept my one profile pic. There's none of my kids. It's simple. And I feel like it's a better place to converse with people you don't know in real life, if that makes any kind of sense.

If you're looking to network and meet people in your line of business, Twitter is DEFINITELY the place to be. I have made SOOOOOOO many connections there and found out about so many opportunities. Invaluable! :)

And if you want to stalk celebrities, definitely check Twitter out! :) It really is cool :) And you just never know when one will actually reply to you! Just today I was beyond ecstatic to get a RT (that's retweet, for those of you not versed in Twitter-speak) and a direct Tweet from Josh Henderson, one of the hotties on the new Dallas (the hottest, IMHO!) Many celebs post pics you wouldn't get to see otherwise. Very cool stuff :)

If you like to keep up on news, current events, anything happening in the world or in your town, with up-to-the-minute posts, Twitter is for you. I follow several news outlets, including my local newspaper. They update throughout the day with breaking news.

I really love Twitter...far more than I ever expected.

So, do you Twitter? Why? What do you like about it? What do you hate?

Twitter Giveaway!!!!

This week I am giving away a signed paperback copy of A Bitch Named Karma!!

All you have to do is Tweet the hashtag #IWantKarma to be entered to win! US only, sorry :( Entries must be in by Thursday 6/21 at midnight EST and I will draw a winner on Friday via Random.org.

Thanks! And pass it on!!!

I tried, but I had to just give in....

I think most of us struggle with what we should be doing versus what we are actually doing. I know I do. Every day. There's no mom on earth that doesn't feel some guilt in working when they should be spending time with their kids...or playing with their kids, when they should be working. While I do struggle with that guilt, I'm talking about a different guilt today.

The lure of the internet.

Each day, I have many things I need to do. And yes, that list does include Facebook, Twitter, Blog writing and reading and commenting, email, etc.. Where most people look at these social media outlets as a "time suck", I happen to think differently. I need these outlets to network and promote myself. So, doing these things does actually have a purpose for me. It's helping to get my name and face out there and in turn, sell books.

But, I do also need to actually work on my writing projects each day too. That is equally as important.

And I tried, very hard, to do my editing and writing first each day. I once read that every writer should do an hour of just writing or editing each day, then turn to social networking. Yeah....didn't work so well for me. I just could not concentrate, knowing that there were unread emails out there, Facebook posts to read, blog posts to read and comments to reply to. I just could not keep my mind on my work with all those other things sitting there, waiting for me.

So I decided not to even try anymore. I do what I need with email, FB, Twitter, etc... I do that all first. Yes, it takes time. A lot of time. But when I am finally to a point where I can say "I'm good" I can shut them down and concentrate COMPLETELY on my work.

I do still take mini-breaks from the editing...you have to. The eyes go buggy after a while. I pop into FB or Twitter for like 2 minutes.

What do you guys do?? Work first, network later?? Or are you like me???

Twitter and Facebook- I need you all!!!

I've decided to host a giveaway! Two, actually!!!! I am not happy about the number of Twitter and Facebook fanpage followers I have. I need to do something about it!!!!

So...I've decided to give away a couple signed copies of A Bitch Named Karma! When each of my accounts reaches 200 followers, I will randomly draw one follower who will win the book!! And if for some chance the winner already has the book, instead they will receive signed copies of both Chicken Soup for the Soul books I am featured in!!

Here is my Facebook Fanpage link.

And here is my Twitter page.

Thanks in advance for all your help!!!!

And while you're at it, please check out this great contest at Project 52! She's giving away The Hunger Games trilogy!!

Follow me on Twitter!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll follow you too!!

FINALLY I started a Twitter account for my writing friends and fans. I have a personal one...for following celebrities and a few friends...just something fun to do. But I read about all these people using it to make all kinds of professional connections!! I need to get me some of that!!!!!

Follow me and will follow you!!

https://twitter.com/StephaniHaefner