Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Do you let your thoughts flow????

Or keep your thoughts to yourself????

I have always tried to stick with the mantra: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. The times in my life I have gotten in arguments have been the times I opened my mouth and let my thoughts slide out.

Some will say they are sticking up for themselves or putting people in their places that deserve it.....not letting anyone walk all over them. And while I agree...I know how upset I get when I argue with someone and it just seems best to keep my thoughts in my head and vent them out some other way, like a journal or my hubby.

Everyone has their own thoughts and opinions about everything. Even though many people swear they are not judgmental, I think we all are. It just depends on if we have the strength and courtesy to keep our negative thought to ourselves instead of sharing them with the world.

Some people may view me as a pushover at times...but I disagree. I like to think I can rise above and be the better person. It's not worth my time to argue over every little thing. I pick my battles. I think that's what makes a mature adult..someone who can ignore other's behaviors and just go on with life.

One prime example: my daughter's dance teacher had originally wanted the girls to wear fishnet stockings with their costumes. Some of the other moms thought it looked "slutty" so the teacher did away with them. Yeah, I could have gotten on my high horse and explained that they are not slutty, just a form of hosiery that gives a little bit of interest instead of plain tan tights. But I didn't, because it's not worth my energy to start an argument with women who's opinion I am most likely not going to change anyway.

Usually you can't change people's minds once they've made them why should I waste my breath, and upset myself in the process? I am the kind of person who holds onto things like that, replaying arguments over and over in my mind for days, wondering if I could have phrased something different, made my point better, or backed off sooner. It often ruins my sleep and takes my mind away from my work during the day. And it's just not worth it to do this to myself over small trivial things.

So what are you: a let it all out there kind of person, or like me, a keep your negative thoughts to yourself kind of person?


  1. I think I am pretty much 'keep my thots to myself' type person. The times I have cut loose and given my opinion are times that I felt so strongly I had to say something. Sometimes it turned out well, others not so well. But I remember that God can use my words to His Glory, as long as I am walking in His will.

  2. I let my thoughts flow.... but I still try to be considerate. it can be a tough line to walk.

  3. Yes, but even when you try to be considerate, people can still take what you say the wrong for me, if it's something that someone may see as negative or insulting, I'd rather just keep it to myself!! :)

  4. If it's for ME, I tend to let things slide, then repeat/relive them... internalize, and if it really upsets me, I'll internalize and end up with hives, eczema, a headache... Now if it's in defense of somebody else, I almost always end up blurting out what I feel, and to heck with it all. :)

    Do you need me to get up in those dance moms' bizness? LOL

  5. LOL!! They're typical closed-minded suburban housewives and nothing I say is gonna change their minds. I had talked with my dance teacher, who is one of the owners of the studio, and she agreed that the fishnets were fine and was going to talk with my daughter's teacher, but as far as I know, we're still doing no fishnets. And even if she did decide to go forward with them, I bet these moms would just refuse to put their girls in them and then we'd all have to take them off our kids so they can be uniform.

    The older I get, the more I choose my battles. It's not worth it to get upset and hold my ground on every little topic. I have far more important things to stress about than dance tights. :)