Tuesday, November 17, 2009

"Yes Grandma, I wrote that explicitly detailed sex scene..."

I write women's fiction and contemporary romance and that means I write sex scenes from time to time. My first novel was very detailed..it was a coming of age type story and I thought the details were necessary. Then I wrote my second and I got kinda prudish. The scenes were there but I left the details out. I wrote my third and I kinda went in between.

I found that I do enjoy writing the scenes, especially now that I've gotten a handle on striking a balance between corny and clinical. So many times I ran into that problem....searching for the right words to describe the action but not wanting it to sound silly. And using terms my doctor would use just didn't sizzle. It took a while to get it just right and I'm pretty proud of the scenes I can come up with now.

But the further I go in this process....I am forced to face facts that every person I know is most likely going to read my steamy scenes...even my parents and grandparents! It's one thing for my girlfriends to read them...sex is often a topic we talk about (we're a close knit bunch!) But my mom...and God forbid...MY DAD!!!

So now I worry that Grandma is gonna read my words and know where my inspiration comes from. Obviously she knows I've had sex before...I have two kids. But I don't know...it's kinda weird!! I remember when I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I said to my husband (we'd been married for over 4 years mind you), "Well now my parents are gonna know we have sex!" I'm sure they already knew...but now there was absolute proof!

Romance writers out there.....or any writers....when you first started out, how did you feel about your grandma reading your sexy scenes?


  1. I definitely will have to deal with this as my sex scenes are harlequin blaze level which is one sliver away from erotic.

    I was a little worried about it but my writing style naturally goes more toward the naughty than the nice, lol, so I didn't want to avoid those type of scenes just because of potential embarrassment.

    So I've just decided to embrace it. I'm a grown married woman who likes to read and write books that are a bit dirty--so what. If my writing bothers someone, they don't have to read it. Having said that, all male members of my family will be forbidden to read any of my romances, lol.

  2. Oh I definitely don't hold back adn I would never let my fear prevent me from writing the story the way it needs to be written. Just wondering what my dad will think of his "little girl" writing this stuff! :)

  3. LOL Funny. The biggest issue I've had [after I got over being worried about my parents] is wondering how my books will come across to my daughter. I try to be real in my books. Sex--for a good girl [whether you are talking morals or just plain safety]--is never easy. There are doubts, self-recriminations, guilt... but, I have written books with sex before marriage. So... if I write this, how do I say to my daughter, save yourself for marriage. It's the best way. It's important, etc. *sigh* And that, is my biggest dilemma because I do believe those things but also realize that life happens...

  4. That is SO funny! I don't write sex scenes, so thank goodness I don't have to worry about this. LOL!