Today I received some news and found myself unable to resist. I just *had* to look into the piece of information I came across. Then when I found that this unbelievable thing was indeed believable....I was giddy! Until I told my husband about it and he shot me down with a dose of reality and proceeded to tell me I had a form of OCD.
And he was right; I knew he was right, but something inside me still yearned to make this dream a reality and hoped he would change his answer after I gave him ways to make it work. Nope. But I have accepted it and will move on....
This brief experience gave me a glimpse of what it must be like for an addict...of anything- cigarettes,gambling, caffeine, sex, shoes......whatever...that *need* to have something even when your brain tells you it's wrong and you shouldn't. I can see how addiction can take over your life and make you do things....things you enjoy immensly. And for as much joy as they give you, they bring just as much, if not more regret later on.
Luckily for me, I can keep my addiction in check. I can stand and say I am an addict.....but in all honesty, I have zero intentions of ever recovering!!!! As long as I keep my logic hat on, I will be okay. But if I suddenly come into tons of cash...that hat is being burned!
(And FYI, the piece of information I recieved was an email about a price reduction on a Walt Disney World trip.)
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
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