Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I dove right in

And sent out close to 20 email queries yesterday afternoon. And plan on sending more today.

And I'm completely terrified.

A writer friend tells me this is the best novel I've written and she thinks this is the one that will get me an agent. The feedback I've gotten from other readers is similar...they love it too. They loved my other stories. If they are a small sampling of the readers out there, and they love it, why can't an agent see that too???

I'm terrified that this will be just another flop.....months and months of wasted effort...again. I've been here before...felt optimistic beyond belief...and had it all smashed, not once, but twice. And it's not like I didn't query my little heart out.....over 150 for the second novel.....

I can't even feel excited this time. And that saddens me. I have written three novels for God's sake! How many people can say that???? I have accomplished something that many many many people say they will do "someday". And I've done it three times. But that will never be enough for me. I will never feel accomplished with having novels just sitting on my hard drive.

So what do I do??? I keep at it I guess. Perseverance is key...I'm told. I have a ton of other ideas in my head...just need to decide which one to pursue next....


  1. I finished my first novel and am querying it, but now I'm trying to get into one of my other projects to finish it. It's hard when I feel like, how many hours did I spend on Novel #1, and now it's not going anywhere? So I found this post inspirational - it's awesome that you keep on going.

    When you DO get an agent - and especially once you sell your first novel - having those other novels ready to go will benefit you, I'm sure. :)

  2. I hope I can have the courage to keep going and going....my fear is that one day I will just give up.