Trust is a huge thing. If it's broken, it can often mean the end of a relationship. But how do you build it to begin with?? Do you just offer it, no questions asked??? If two people can't trust each other when they are first getting to know each other, then how can they ever form a relationship??
This trust issue with new people comes up for me often. My daughter is 8, almost 9, and has lots of friends in school. And occasionally a friend she has never played with before will call and ask my her to come over. We're kinda past the age where it's acceptable for a mom to go along on a playdate and monitor, ya know? So I'm stuck. I'm not real comfortable letting her go to a home where I don't know the parents, but it is wrong for me to treat the people like psychopaths and child molesters. I wouldn't want someone to think that of me and my husband.
So I'm left having to ignore the paranoia and just offer some trust. We have the "talk" with my daughter often. "No one is allowed to touch your private parts." "If someone tries to touch your private parts, call me right away." "If someone tries to make you do something you don't want to do, get out of there." She rolls her eyes and sighs "I know" every time. And when she comes home, we always ask for a rundown of the playdate.
There is one friend in particular that I do not trust the parents. The mom just seems unstable and the dad...well...he does give me a weird child molester vibe. The mom has damaged my trust in her on more than one occasion. So when they call, I try to find any excuse for my daughter not to go to their house. I do feel bad for the boy though...it's not his fault his parents are weird.
Moms and dads...how do you deal with these situations?
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Ugh. That's part of why I've always either worked in my kids' schools, or volunteered in their classrooms. Teachers know everything! LOL Not to mention, you get a lot of background on a kid and his/her family just by watching how he behaves and talks at school. It's always a good barometer for me to decide whether that kid will be hanging out at my house or not... much less, whether my kid will go to his/her house.
ReplyDeleteAs for the creepy guy--go with your instinct! If your daughter really wants to be friends with that boy, maybe he can come over to your house.