Friday, March 19, 2010

If you have time and can do this...please critique my synopsis!

I hate these things soooooooooooooooooooooo much. Condensing an entire 372 page novel into one page is pure torture.......seriously...this is hell for writers. If anyone ever needed to get some info out of me...just stick me in a room and make me write synopsises. I won't last long.

Here is my one-pager for Spellbound. I took it to my writers group two weeks ago and they said the first half was good....but the second half fell short on description and it seemed like I was rushing to get the story down. I worked on it today.

It's contemporary romance. Thanks in advance! :)

Spellbound: One-Page Synopsis

RODA MORGAN is constantly surrounded by love. As a wedding florist, she helps brides and grooms plan their weddings, dreaming of the day she will don a white gown herself.

Roda’s toughest client of the year is MRS. VANDEWATER, a wealthy socialite who thinks all things revolve around her and her perfect daughter.

When Roda meets ERIC SPENCER, a groomsman from the Vandewater wedding, she thinks this tall, dark and handsome gentleman is way out of her league. They begin dating and she quickly feels a connection with him. Roda relaxes her guard and tells him about her Wiccan beliefs, something that has proven to be a problem in many of her past relationships with men. But Eric’s open-mindedness makes him different than the others and the two fall in love fast while learning and appreciating the differences they have.

Roda’s world is more perfect than she could ever have imagined, until Eric confesses that his mother is Violetta Vandewater, the woman who tormented her for months. He explains why he kept the truth from her—fear that she would refuse to see him because of who his mother is. After calming her initial anger, Roda understands the trepidation in telling a new love interest about your family.

Roda starts spending time with the Vanderwater family. She wants to become a part of Eric’s world and finds that she likes the wealth and privilege much more than she ever thought. As she lets some of her beliefs and family traditions fall to the wayside, Roda’s mother can see her daughter pulling away from their modest Wiccan lifestyle.

With a magical proposal, Eric asks Roda to marry him and the two begin planning their wedding. When they talk about the ceremony, Roda is uncomfortable with a church service and Eric is unhappy about a God-less ceremony. The two argue, the first time their different backgrounds has become an issue.

Mrs. Vandewater finds out that Roda is Wiccan and forbids her son from marrying a “satan worshipper”. The false accusation from her future mother-in-law devastates Roda, but Eric tells her he loves her and doesn’t care what his mother thinks.

Wedding plans fall apart as one thing after another goes wrong and unbeknown to them, Eric’s mother is the cause of every single one. He tries to console a hysterical Roda, but she can no longer believe his words. They argue about everything and anything—things they both had held inside. Roda removes her engagement ring and walks out.

In the midst of a family tragedy, Roda hides her sorrow about her canceled engagement. She learns that Eric’s mother was behind the wedding disasters, but at that point, it doesn’t even matter. Their problems are too big to overcome. Eric goes to her and tells her he still loves her and still wants to marry her. They can fly away and be married on the beach while the sun sets—no drama, just their love. He will be on the plane and if she wants to marry him, she must meet him there.

After facing a life of loneliness, Roda rushes to the airport and makes it to the gate just as last call is announced. Eric is there, waiting for her with open arms.

6 comments:

  1. I've never critiqued a synopsis before, but I'm impressed by the detail you managed to include in such brevity.

    The only things I could point out are some spots where you use fairly vague language, especially concerning his family. I know you don't want to go into much detail, but maybe a few word choices here and there; also with his mother ruining their wedding plans.

    Sorry can't be of much help, but it does sound like a book I'd like to read. :-) Good luck!

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  2. I've never critiqued a synposis before, in fact I am having trouble with my own so I don't know what help I'll be but I am picturing myself in a store and reading the back cover, here are the issues I have:

    I love the story, and at the beginning you capture me completely, It's toward the middle where you lose my from time to time and then gain me back, like there is too much information but it isn't going anywhere. You start strong with your choice of words but then they became vague everday ones and I think there needs to be more info. That's just me though!!!

    I still do love the story and would definitely pick it up, I love me a good romance!

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  3. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is exactly what I needed!!!

    The beginning is good...my writers group told me that too. I tried fixing the rest...I guess I managed to bring up the end but the middle is still not working....

    Writing a synopsis is so hard.....squishing an entire novel onto one page.

    This is such a help!! Thanks ladies!!

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  4. Okay here goes.

    Remove this phrase...
    the woman who tormented her for months.

    Remove this sentence.
    The false accusation from her future mother-in-law devastates Roda, but Eric tells her he loves her and doesn’t care what his mother thinks.

    I think this is how the word should be spelled.
    unbeknownst

    Remove this sentence.
    They argue about everything and anything—things they both had held inside

    Okay I'm going to tear this up...remove the stuff that is holding you back and putting in stuff that will make it hold up. If you don't like it, no worries.

    In the midst of a family tragedy (which is... I think you have to say), Roda hides her sorrow about her canceled engagement. She finally learns that Eric’s mother was behind the wedding disasters but even without her interference Roda thinks their problems are too big to overcome.

    After much soul searching, Eric realizes his mistake and begs Roda for a second chance. They can fly away and be married on the beach while the sun sets — no family,no drama, just their love. He will be on the plane and if she wants to marry him, she must meet him there.

    Facing a life of loneliness, or a life with the man of her dreams, Roda rushes to the airport and makes it to the gate just as last call is announced. Eric is there, waiting for her with open arms.

    I hope this helps a little bit.

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  5. Its good but I don't know it just... its missing something I can't put my finger on.

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  6. Thanks for the help!!! I so appreciate it!!

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