Complete honesty????

In the writing world, we want complete honesty. We know, as writers, that we cannot learn and grow without our readers; beta readers, critique partners, writers group members, giving us complete and utter honesty. A smile and "It's so awesome!" does not help. We know what to do when we're feeling down and need a pick me up: Mom. But to help ourselves grow as writers, we need to know what our writing is missing...even if the truth hurts. And sometimes it does sting. Sometimes at first we look at the critique and say "What???" But usually we come to accept the critique and take what we need from it and fix what needs to be fixed.

But what about our personal lives? What about our friends and family? Is complete honesty the absolute best policy, especially when you know your comments will make someone angry.

I've been in the position many times. For most of my life, accept with my writing partners, I stick with the mantra: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. But what should you do when you see someone, a friend, and they are obviously blind to something going on in their life. Something that could result in someone being hurt. And they just don't see it. But you know, without a doubt, that your saying something will cause them to be angry with you...possibly ending their friendship with you. Do you take the chance and say something anyway...or just let them go on in their bubble?

It's easy to say that if the person is really a friend, they will listen and take your concerns seriously...but we all know that's not how real life always is. People get defensive and feel like they're being judged.