Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I'm too young to have former classmates drop dead...

Writing today's post from a sad place. I recently found out a guy I went to high school with died. Just like that. His wife found him in bed...dead. I have very few details, other than he had blood pressure issues, and he may have been using drugs. He may have had a heart attack. Which makes sense, since another friend died not even a year ago in eerily similar circumstances. And like my other friend, this one has young children as well. It's so sad.

I found out because someone had tagged him in a photo on Facebook. It was a digital scrapbooking kind of thing with his photo and "In Loving Memory" across the top. I saw it and said "What?" I clicked on his page and there I found all kinds of messages of love and condolence. 

Made me wonder what happens to a Facebooker's account if it sits...never again to be logged into. Will it sit there, photos and memories, messages, as a permanent memorial?

As organizer of our class's FB group, I posted a message informing everyone. One woman replied and said he'd just friended her last week. Life really can change in the blink of an eye. Makes me reevaluate everything I do. Should I give up what I'm doing, my personal goals, to spend every waking moment with my kids? My husband can't do that. We need money to pay for our home and food. I need/want to contribute to our finances, too.


  1. So sorry to hear about your friend! I also feel like I'm too young to have friends die, and yet it happens. Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting precious years of my daughter's life by being at work all day, but I have to work. :(

    As for the FB question, I don't have a facebook but I do have a blog and twitter and stuff and my family knows that I want all of them deleted if I die. The thought of my online presence lingering around after I'm gone just weirds me out.

  2. Death comes to us at any age. We just have to love our friends while they're here. (I believe I'll see beloved friends on the "other side" too; I look forward to this.) And wives/mothers work if they have to. Prioritizing can be tough. But see what you've already accomplished with your writing; the books you've published.

    You work through the sadness of being separated from someone you've known/loved and keep moving forward. I hope you find peace with the decisions you make.
    Ann Best, Author of In the Mirror, A Memoir of Shattered Secrets

  3. I'm sorry to hear about this, and I know just how jarring it can be.

    A friend of mine died two years ago and her facebook stays open. People write on her wall every day. It's like a memorial site, or a gravestone, or a place for people to just say, "I was thinking of you today..." It makes me cry every time I go there, but I think it also helps her family. It's nice to know that the people you love are not forgotten.