Thursday, November 4, 2010

Why should we hide our feelings online??

I read a blog post the other day written by Shannon Whitney Messenger and it really made me think. Shannon wrote a really thought provoking post and she made some great points. But why is it so bad to share our true feelings in our blogs???

Yes, it is good to show you are confident and put together and professional...but why shouldn't our readers know the real us, insecurities and all??? Does it make us appear weak if people know we don't have it all figured out all the time???

Do you shy away from a blogger, author or not, if they post about their fears?

I don't!! I read their words and say "THANK GOD!!!! Someone out there gets it! Gets ME!" I wrote a post a little while back about jealousy in the publishing world. (read it here) I was having a bad day and wondering if I'll ever get to where I want to go. It felt so nice to read other writers comments and that they too know how that feels and have been there.

Everyone is in different stages of this journey and each has it's own set of fears. But in the's all the same insecurity.

If someone was constantly whining and venting and complaining, then yeah, that would get a little tiresome, but an occasional vent or sobfest...I don't see anything wrong with that. I welcome it actually. It's nice to see that everyone out there is human...just like me. :)

So what do you think?? Are posts that show the writer as weak a bad thing??


  1. We are all human and I for one like to feel that I know who the person is behind the post

  2. I think authors need to stick together. And that means letting other authors help you when you feel ready to give up or give them advice about a publishing house or any other questions they might have. Writing is a community, now writer is an island. Not anymore.

  3. Okay, first--how was I not following you? (#shannonfail) Fortunately I have fixed the problem.

    Thanks so much for the mention about my post. And I do agree with you. I love when writers are real and honest. ( long as it doesn't get to a point of ranting or whining ALL the time). But sadly, I do know that it can cause problems. I have friends who are published authors who did posts about their struggles with their publisher, and some people commented saying things along the lines of: you sound so ungrateful--I would kill to have a publisher. (And for the record, their posts were not ranting or even too terribly negative. Just honest expressions of worries and frustrations)

    Not to mention if you're submitting your draft to agents or editors and they think it needs revision and then they check your blog and all you've done for the last few posts is whine about how much you hate hate hate revision, well...that might make them think you won't be willing to put in the hard work you need on the draft.

    Not saying either of those things are fair or right. But they do happen. So personally I think it's about balance. I will mention things that frustrate me (or things that have frustrated my friends, when I'm searching for ideas), but I always try to end on a positive note. That way I can be real and honest, but also not be negative. So far it's saved me from any drama. But I'm sure sooner or later I'll step in it. Sigh.

    Great, thought provoking post!

  4. Agree 100% with you and both comments above! Fears make writers human and relatable. At some point, opinions are going to come out, whether it's flat out bluntness or a between-the-lines approach. That's a personal choice, one that I respect.

    Great post!

  5. Thanks everyone for stopping by and offering your opinions!! Means so much to me!!!

    I can definitely see what you mean, Shannon....if someone was constantly complaining, yeah that would seem unprofessional. But I would hope that even if I do land an agent and a publishing contract some day and if I vent a little on my blog, other writers would still commiserate with me...even if we're not at the same point in our career journey. Everything in life has it's struggles and hopefully it wouldn't be perceived as ungrateful...just frustrating.

  6. I think part (most?) of the point of a blog for authors is to connect on a personal level with their readers/fan base. So being human is vital. That said... if you're a negative type person who is always upset with life, it might be good to avoid baring your soul on your blog--nobody wants to be confronted with all that negativism. (I have certain friends I can really only deal with on the "right" days, because they just bring me down!--you know the type. Eeyores.) I kinda think what works best is if you need to vent, try to twist it into something humorous, which in the end will make both you and the readers feel better. But that's just me.
    The other caveat Shannon mentioned is the "professional" factor. And that applies all over the net, not just on blogs. You do want to maintain a certain level of "grown-up" professionalism regarding what you say about editors, agents, and publishers... like, don't say anything about them on the net, that you wouldn't say to them in an email, because chances are they are set up with Google alerts and will be reading it anyway.

    I think you do a nice job of being personable, yet professional. :)

  7. Interesting post! I personally want to connect with authors as people, which means being able to see the ups and downs of their lives; but I don't like big rants that have to do with the industry either. I mean, sure, rant about the bad phone company or the traffic pile up on your way home from work, but professionally I think you should keep it mostly positive. It's one thing to say you're struggling with something in your writing, and another thing altogether to say your publisher is a jerk or your agent never returns calls.

    It's a fine line to tread, but as with all things, no matter what you do, you'll be bound to tick someone off. :)