I want to work!!!!

I find it really interesting when I hear friends, family members, even my own husband, say how they like their job, even love it, but they can't wait to get home to spend time with their families or do other things...basically they can't wait to be away from work each day and weekends are their paradise. And while I love my family immensely, I have many many days where I wish so badly I could go and do the work that I love. To me it doesn't feel like "work". Cleaning my house is work....doing laundry, cooking dinner, doing yard work...that is my definition of work. Writing....it's my nirvana. I start and I don't want to stop. I get so involved in my imaginary world that I hate pulling myself away from what I am creating. I want to continue..I want to see where my characters go. I want to create their problems and solve them. I want to create sexual tension and then relieve it (that's the best part!!) I want to create something that is all me.

Writing a sex scene is quite exhilarating!

This morning I was to the point in my novelette/novella where the big sex scene came in...and whoa this was a steamy one!!! I thoroughly enjoyed writing it!!! I hope my readers will enjoy reading it!!!

I am still a bit unsure of myself when it comes to writing sex scenes. A lot of my early work kinda skips over the deed...it's there, but there's not much detail...most of my earlier work would be considered "sweet" on the sensuality scale. But lately, I've been feeling the need to write more detailed scenes. I have been reading up on romance lately, all levels of eroticism and I have to admit, the steamier ones are quite exciting to read! I wanted to add a bit more spice to my stories!

My downfall is the terminology though and getting it to sound right. Last thing I want is my scene to sound silly. I think my biggest hurtle is words for male and female genitalia. You can only use 'manhood' so many times! And clinical terms kinda ruin the mood for me! LOL! Guess I need to grab a few more Harlequin Blaze novels and pay closer attention to the actual wording....research...yes...I need to read these books for further research........ :)

A lawyer has been secured!

I heard back from one of the lawyers I contacted. She is a friend of a friend and I'm thinking she's giving me a deal...$75 an hour. I was expecting it to be more. Hopefully I won't need more than 1-2 hours of her time.

Since I have the contract in a pdf form, she had me email it to her so she can review it and we'll do it all through email. Saves me a trip downtown (and paying to park) to meet with her at her office.

So, hopefully I will hear from her within a few days.

I read through the contract again and there are some questions I really want answered. They shouldn't give me any trouble, right?? If they do, I should take that as a huge red flag. I'd like to know how the average first time author does in sales their first month, first year, and how much I would actually make on each copy sold.

And then there's the whole secondary rights thing....and signing them away. Now I would still make royalties- 50%, but I gather that I'd lose all creative control. From what I've read on message boards, from other authors who are published through this same publisher, they will not budge on this. And many of the authors who published through them are extremely happy...I'm happy so far, the people are great. And I'm just starting out....what are the chances that someone will read this ebook and want to make it into a movie???

I just don't know....I'm torn!!! I don't want to walk away and then get no other offers. But I also don't want to be cursing myself down the road if this one in a million chance that it's made into a movie actually happens. The other two offers I received are nos in my book. The second one I got, the people never even sent me the contract after that first email. And the third, well, their catalog is extremely limited...so I'm guessing they are really tiny and I'd imagine, sales are very small. And the covers are horrid!

Decisions, decisions.....

Back to work!

I took the weekend to basically do nothing. And part of me was happy with that but the other part, not so much.

I knew my lawyer search would go no where over the weekend, so I guess it wasn't too hard to let that go for a few days. But I didn't write a single sentence the entire weekend either. I think I was just having a bummy weekend...I got on the computer of course, but I couldn't lure myself away from message boards and Facebook.

But it's a new week...back to work!

And I finally heard back from one of the lawyers I emailed. She asked me to call her to set up a meeting...I did, no answer...left her a voice mail.

"This is going to be your year"

When I turned 31 this past September, a dear friend and fellow writer said to me, "This is going to be your year!" I agreed/hoped. And thus far, those words have rung true. I've had a darn lucky year so far.

In December my first official paid publication was released...three short pieces that were part of Nickel City Nights: Erotic Writing in Western New York. Then in January, my work was chosen as the feature story in Flash Me Magazine, another paying gig. In March I won a radio contest to be whisked off the Hollywood for a NKOTB concert. April I was asked to be a featured reader at a local poetry/literary venue. And now this week, not one, not two, but THREE ePublishing contracts for my second novel.

Yes...things have been pretty good......

But I can't help but wonder....if this year is gonna be great....will I use up all the greatness I'm due and next year will suck?? When are the bad things gonna start? When will my luck change??? I try to stay positive and live each day to the fullest, enjoying every moment, but I just cannot help these thoughts.

Soak it up now I suppose...you just never know what the future will hold.

Sitting here all bundled up!

Why? Because my house is so darn cold!!! It shouldn't be...it's like 70 outside...but for some reason, my house, maybe cause it's brick, is always so darn chilly! (It does stay relatively warm in the winter though!)

So I'm here on the couch, in long pants, a long sleeve tee, socks, wrapped in a blanket...laptop sitting aglow.....I'm in my cocoon! This is where the name for my blog came from. My husband used to laugh at me. I'd be all tucked into my cocoon (electric blanket on high) and I'd need something or the kids would need somethng or the phone would ring. SUCH a hassle to get out and mess it all up. "Don't worry, honey," he'd say a bit sarcastically, but with a smile, "I'll get it, you're in your cocoon!"

So in the beginning, that's what the cocoon was all about...me being warm and snuggly and a little bit silly (and perhaps, um, lazy). But then the cocoon seemed to take on a different meaning. If you read the line I have written at the top of my blog, this whole cocoon thing has become more about the beauty that metamorphoses (is this word right...not sure, but it's staying!) Anyway, it's about the amazing things that I create while I am in my cocoon. I go in as one person and come out as another and after doing this time after time, I am finally coming out a little closer to full magnificent butterfly status...aka....a published author!

Want to read some fantastic poetry???

My dear friend, Denise Amodeo Miller just released her first book of poetry!! She is really fantastic! Her style is very earthy, sensual, womanly. We love hearing her newest creations at writer's group meetings!!

http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/force-beyond-lace/7059509