How to Twitter

I can't say I'm a pro at anything. I'm not real sure how anyone can say they are unless they've spent a long time learning the ins and outs of a certain thing. And even then, can a person truly know everything??

But anyway, I do feel like I have a decent handle on Twitter, even if I don't have thousands of followers.

So here's my basic little Twitter How-To!

I know it can be real intimidating for those who have never used Twitter before. I'm the kind of person who likes to get in and just start using something, figure it out as I go. I have always been a hands-on learner. I get bored reading too much text. I often skim. Which can be bad. I know I miss things. Once I get into something and if I hit a snag, then I will go back and read and figure it out. It's probably not a great learning strategy, but it works for me.

The first time I gave Twitter a go, I didn't really get it and didn't have the time to figure it out. So it lost luster fast. I gave it a second try and that's when I really figured it out. Here's what I've learned:

- Twitter is social media-emphasis on social- and it only works if you mix up your posts. It's very encouraged to mix business with pleasure. People want to connect, not just read promo. People will pay more attention to your promo if you have a personal relationship first.

- In relation to the above, many people on Twitter are not there to promote themselves. They are just there to socialize. They're not going to follow you if all you do is talk about your business stuff.

- Reply to other people's Tweets. Converse. I know it's not easy to chat with someone with a 140 character limit, but the more you do it, the better you become at keeping your thoughts brief and getting right to the point.

- Have a few laughs! People are always posting funny things. Twitter can be for fun, not just business purposes.

- Share other people's links, but don't go crazy. It's great to help friends out, but whether it's your own promo or promo for someone else, it's still promo.

- Don't go into it thinking you have nothing to say. Everyone has something to say.

- Use the search feature. If you're interested in a certain topic, search it. You'll be amazed at what you find. If you love knitting, you'll find other Twitterers who also love knitting. If you're a fan of a band, you can find others who are also.

- Use Twitter to connect with local stuff. Follow your newspaper's Twitter feed. Follow local organizations and businesses, sports teams, etc... I get much of my news updates from my Twitter feed and find out about local happenings that way too.

- And lastly, go ahead and follow celebrities! They rarely reply to you, but it really is interesting to get a glimpse into their lives. If you're into that sort of thing!

So there's my simple guide to Twitter! Hope it was helpful! And if you wnat to come check me out on Twitter, click here!

Ever read a book so moving....

...it makes you cry? And cry in public???

With the invention of digital reading devices it's easier and more convenient than ever to read anywhere you want. I think people read more on the go since devices are so easy to transport. People read on their phones too, and everyone always has their phone on them. Whether they're on their commute, at the gym, at the doctor's office, I think more than ever, people are reading in public.

And depending on what you read, some of these books can be pretty darn emotional. I openly admit, I cry at sappy movies. I cry at sad movies. And of course, books too. Sometimes the stories of the characters are so emotional and overwhelming, I can't help the tears. It's only human to be affected in this way. Sometimes the stories hit close to home. Other times they restore faith in true love and happily ever afters.

I often read at the gym, while on the treadmill or cross ramp. I hate cardio machines. I prefer getting my cardio in enjoyable ways like Zumba. But there aren't classes everyday, so I do get on the machines too. But the most I can stand without something to keep me entertained is 5-10 minutes. So I started bringing my Kindle. It really makes the time fly by. One day I started a new book. By the end of chapter one there was a horrific car accident and a character died. Have you ever tried to keep your pace on a cross ramp while holding back sobs? Not an easy thing to do.

So how about you?? Ever been in public reading and unable to hold back the emotions??

Live Life to the Fullest!

I recently saw this quote:

"Live like you will die tomorrow. Dream like you will live forever."

It's very powerful for me. Life can be so so short. I've had several people taken from my life far too early. People who never got the chance to marry or have children. People who never got to see their children grow up. People who never got the chance to meet their grandchildren. I try very hard to make our lives meaningful. Make memories with our kids. Enjoy each other. I try to keep our stress at a minimum so we spend more time smiling than frowning. There's no guarantees in life and the people I love can be gone at any minute. I need to make the most of my time with them now.

I think it's very important to make memories, be silly, do things that some people think you are too old for. Live your life and have no regrets. I don't want to look back when I'm 80 and wonder what I did with my time. I want photo albums filled with memories and smiling faces.

Obviously, if we truly treated each day like our last, the house would never get cleaned and we would never go to work. :) But I think the sentiment behind this statement is to at least take part of every day and make it memorable. Even if it's only ten minutes.

And for me, part of life is dreaming, and dreaming big. If you don't dream and make plans, go after what makes you happiest, what is the point?? I don't want to just exist. I want to my life to be spectacular. I dream and do what I can to make those dreams come true. It's not to say I'm not afraid, but I push past the fear and just do it. I work hard and I'm making my dreams come true.

How about you? What does this quote mean to you?? Do you live your life to the fullest?? Do you have dreams and try to achieve them?

Chick Lit Chat

I don't know if you all know this, but I am one of the hosts of Chick Lit Chat on Twitter!! What is Chick Lit Chat, you ask?? Well, let me explain! :)

A while back, I believe it was my good friend Jen Daiker from Unedited, wanted to start a chat on Twitter to talk about all things Chick Lit. If you are stumped on what that even is, it's a sub genre of women's fiction, traditionally about younger women in an urban setting. The stories are funny and sassy with lots of drama. The genre has evolved over the years, with older characters, moms, small town settings, and the title isn't quite used as much anymore, but there is still a HUGE following. Jen wanted to do something fun to bring together readers and writers to support the genre, and #ChickLitChat was born.

So each week on Thursday night at 8 PM Eastern Standard Time, we all gather on Twitter and chat. You must use the hashtag #chicklitchat to participate. There is always a host and a topic for the week, ranging from our favorite titles, to our favorite types of characters, to writing related topics about plot and dialogue. Every week is something new and every week we have a total blast! I love meeting new people who love the genre as much as I do. It's great for readers because they can meet authors and find out how our minds work! And great for authors, since we love meeting our readers!

So come on over to our chat this week!! Visit the profile for our headquarters- ChickLitChatHQ and give us a follow for reminders and updates to the chat. I'm hosting tonight!! See ya there!!!

The Big Fabulous Summer Giveaway!

It's been a loooooong time since I've done a fun contest! And with summer coming, I feel the need to celebrate and get ready for it!!! How about you?? I am so ready for a relaxing summer with lots of fun!

As a kid, I loved summer. I mean, seriously, who didn't? I think my favorite part was having nothing to do. Everyday was Saturday. My family camped seasonally at a family campground, and every weekend that's where we went as soon as my dad got home from work. I had lots of friends there and we always had so much fun. So many amazing memories of sunny summer days swimming in the lake, and warm summer nights with cute boys. ;)

So I want to celebrate summer and it's fun and freedom. No matter how old I am, I will always bask in the joy of warmer temps and lazy days!

The contest starts today and will run until June 15th! LOTS of time to enter and keep earning more entries! I'll announce the winners on my blog on Monday, June 17th! :)

And I know you're wondering...what about the prizes!!! Here is a list of what I have come up with so far! I will be adding more as time goes on. There will be lots of prizes, so many people will win! AND entrants will be able to win multiple prizes!! I plan on getting together some kind of grand prize too. I'll have to see what awesome things I can come up with! :) So, without further ado, here is the list:

- $5 GC to Amazon or B&N, winner's choice.
- $10 GC to Amazon or B&N, winner's choice.
- Digital copies of my Karma books- A Bitch Named Karma and Karma Kameleon (in whichever format the winner chooses).
- Digital copy of my book Paradise Cove.
- Digital copy of my book Soap Dreams.
- Bath and Body Works Pocket Bacs Hand Sanitizer! Five winners, scent selected at random- Margarita, Pink Lemonade, Flip Flop Fruit, Wildberry, and Island Nectar. (US only.)

- Nail buffers and Cake Batter lip balm! Two winners! (Each will win one buffer and one lip balm. US only.)

- Nail polish and polish remover pads! Two winners! (Each winner will receive one polish and one container of remover pads. US only.)

And I finally came up with a grand prize. It's nothing major, but it is something I really would love to keep for myself! So that gives it value, to me, anyway!

- A cool water bottle and box of yummy single serving iced tea packets! (US only)

And who knows...I may add more!!


a Rafflecopter giveaway


***Some prizes are only available for continental US residents, as noted. I sincerely apologize for this. The shipping out of the States is just too much for me to swing :( If the winner for a shippable prize is outside the continental US, I will draw a new winner for that prize and offer the original winner a digital prize.

***All winners will be announced on my blog and notified by email. If the winner fails to reply within a week's time, a new winner will be drawn.

Official Contest Rules:

No purchase necessary. Digital prizes open to US and international, 18 and over. Prizes that must be shipped are only open to US residents, 18 and over. Contest open May 15th, 9 AM EST through June15th, 11:59 PM. Winners will be selected at random and posted on this blog on Monday June 17th at 9:00 EST. Winners will also be contacted by the email address they provided when entering and have one weeks to respond or an alternative winner will be drawn. Entry details posted above in Rafflecopter. Prize descriptions: $5 GC to Amazon or B&N ($5 value), $10 GC to Amazon or B&N, ($10 value), Digital copies of my Karma books- A Bitch Named Karma and Karma Kameleon (in whichever format the winner chooses) ($10 value), Digital copy of my book Paradise Cove ($1 value), Digital copy of my book Soap Dreams ($1 value), Bath and Body Works Pocket Bacs Hand Sanitizer. Five winners, (US only), ($1 value each, total value $5.00), Nail buffers and Cake Batter lip balm! (Each will win one buffer and one lip balm. US only.), ($2 value on each prize, total prize value $4). Nail polish and remover wipes ($3 value each prize, $6 value total. US only), Water bottle and iced tea mix, ($12 value. US only). Odds of winning are determined by number of eligible entries. All winners are final. Stephanie Haefner is not responsible for technical failures. Stephanie Haefner has the right to publicize the names of the winners on this blog. All digital prizes will be awarded via email. Shippable prizes will be awarded via USPS within a week of winner claiming them. Stephanie Haefner is not liable in the event the prize or contest/sweepstakes in some way impacts the winner negatively. Contest sponsored by Stephanie Haefner- haefner919@yahoo.com. Sweepstakes is being regulated in the state of NY. Void where prohibited by law.

Boy things and Girl things?

I hate when people label things as only for boys or girls.

As a parent, I have always had the attitude that there are not boy things and girl things. I have always encouraged my girl to play with trucks, play sports, enjoy shows about trains, as well as play with dolls, play dress up, and take dance classes. I think the world views this as okay. People have no problem encouraging girls to be well-rounded. But boys, not so much. And this makes no sense to me.

My son has always been naturally drawn to things with wheels. He loves playing with cars, loves watching car races, loves riding his bike. But as the second child with an older sister, he has always been around traditional girly things. We've never discouraged him from playing with his sister's toy kitchen or her My Little Pony and Littlest Pet Shop figures. When it came time to start signing him up for extra curriculars, soccer was his first. He has always seemed very coordinated and likes running around outside and doing sports type things. It seemed like a natural fit. And so far, it has been. He no longer does soccer, but started tee ball this year. His sister dances and does theater camp, and he has never shown interest, but if he does, I wouldn't deny him.

My son used to say he didn't want to watch certain shows because they were "girl shows." They weren't. They were older kid shows geared toward tweens, like Good Luck Charlie and Shake It Up. I think he said that because they were shows his sister watches. Because he has no problem what so ever with Dora the Explorer, Doc McStuffins, and Sophia the First.

I'm sure people are wondering what I'd do if my son ran up to me with a tutu in hand and wanted to wear it. He's never done it, but I'd like to think I'd be open-minded enough to let him wear it. It's just a tutu. He's five.

If you ever want to sell on proposal....

When I started writing, I had no clue how to do it. I just wrote. There was a story in my head and it came out through my finger tips. But then I started learning there were rules. Basic rules about storytelling and characters. I read a couple books and found invaluable information. And I had to relearn all the grammar stuff I had forgotten. Boy was that tough!

I joined a writers group maybe a year or so after I started writing. The people were awesome and they really helped me figure out this writing thing. They helped me fix the things that needed fixing. They were great for bouncing ideas off of. And then we had a new member join our group. She was working on her novel, a mystery, and though she only had a few chapters written, she had the whole thing planned out. Every scene. At the time, that seemed so incredibly boring to me. I remember thinking it felt like all the creativity had been taken out of the process. I couldn't understand why someone would write like that.

Fast forward a few years....

I'd been through the publishing process a bunch of times. I'd written a few more novels. I'd met tons of people in the writing community. Many were pansers- people who write by the seat of their pants, like I did. And the rest were plotters, who plan their books, either in an extremely detailed manor or just a simple outline. I was a panser. And then one day a friend posted about her new book and how she was becoming a reformed panser. After selling several books to her publisher, they now only wanted a proposal before offering her a contract. She now HAD to write an entire synopsis for her future book before writing it.

That really hit home with me. I knew I wanted to someday sell to a big publisher. And if this is how big publishers did it, maybe I needed to take a serious look into changing my process too. So I decided to give it a try. A test. I decided my next book would be plotted out beforehand. I spent a couple weeks writing what was originally supposed to be a semi-detailed outline. But I ended up writing a very detailed outline, scene by scene. It was about 25 pages long, single spaced. When I finished, I started crafting the book. It took me only 35 days to write 82 thousand words. And not once was I bored or felt a lack of creatively. There was never a lull, asking myself "What's gonna happen next?" There were less plot holes. Since I had the book all planned out, it gave me the ease of just writing it and not having to stop and think about where the book was going. I already knew.

I am now a reformed panser! And proud of it!!

I know everyone has their process and everyone must do what works best for them. But I am honestly shocked by how at home I am with the new process I have adopted. My dream is to sell on proposal. I would LOVE to sell a book based on my ideas instead of spending months writing something that no one wants to buy. Fingers crossed that I get there!

So...panser or plotter? Any reformed pansers like me??? Were you shocked with the ease of the process once you started it?