Tweets of the Week!

Here we go again! The funniest, most inspiring, and most entertaining Tweets I read this week!

@Lisaurstein: So someone just found my blog searching "Lisa pull my pants down, lisa suk my pp on you tube" my eyes my eyes o.O

@kirstiealley: DWTS makes people happy!!!! Thank you for having me..it's makes me happy too!!! xxxo

@abswrites: I wish people cared about real issues as much as they care about football referees. #justsayin'....

@SW_Messenger: Why am I incapable of using superglue without gluing my fingers together at least once???

@rklipman: HEY I JUST MET YOU STOP AND THIS IS CRAZY STOP BUT PHONES HAVEN'T BEEN INVENTED YET STOP SO TELEGRAM ME MAYBE STOP

@Chrishell7: I feel like I legitimately have the right to key a car that purposely takes 2 parking spaces.


@Pamstucky: Whoever just found my website by searching on "how to make a pterodactyl out of toilet paper roll," Thank you - you made my day!

@honeyrun: You know what's funny? Paintings of Adam & Eve where they both have belly buttons. Think about that, take as much time as you need

@MandyHubbard: We should bring this back. RT @OMGFacts:  In ancient Rome, men found guilty of rape had their testicles crushed between two stones.

The Girly Book Blog Hop!

Today I'm part of a fun blog hop all about secondary characters!!

What gal is complete without her super fab BFF?????

Secondary characters give our main characters depth. I think you can tell a lot about people by who they keep closest to them. In my writing, my secondary characters are usually quirky and wild. They're usually a person my main character wishes they could be more like...and learns a lot from them.

Below is a scene from my newest work in progress...just wrote this scene! It's the first glimpse that readers get of the dynamic between Deeni and her BFF Lydia. Basically, Deeni has just been dumped by her longline boyfriend and concocted a wacky plan to save face at her sister's wedding. Enjoy!

(PS...except has a bit of strong language...18 and over only please!)

Deeni took a deep breath. She was about to share this crazy plan with someone who was not physically involved in it. Lydia wouldn’t sugarcoat. She’d tell her exactly how nutty they were to even attempt it. 

“It’s not how it looks.” 

“You looked pretty damn cozy, if you ask me. Who is this guy? Where did he come from? And were you cheating on Eddie?”

“Hold on. I’ll answer all that. We just met this morning.”

“Wow. You jump back in the saddle fast. And by the way, I’m kinda pissed I had to hear about the breakup from my mother, of all people.

“I know. There really wasn’t any time. It all happened late last night, and then I had to get to work. The wedding takes precedence over any other thing in my life right now.”

“Fuck the wedding.”

“I’d love to, believe me. But anyway, we met this morning and he just got dumped too. He needs someone to pose as his fiancé and I need someone to pretend to be my new boyfriend cause I kinda told my mother I had been cheating on Eddie for months.”

“And why would you do that?”

“Because she was gonna sit Uncle Fred in Eddie’s empty seat at our table for the reception, and I don’t know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. She had that pitying look in her eye and I couldn’t stand it. I think I’d rather be a cheater than a pathetic dumpee.”

“Okay. I think I get it.” Lydia pulled up in front of Deeni’s place. “But that doesn’t explain the almost kiss I witnessed at Allegretto.” 

 I can’t explain it either. “Uh, I guess when you take two recently dumped people and give them two bottles of wine, they get a little out of control.” 

She shook her head. “Just be careful. You don’t know this guy.” 

“I will. Thanks for the concern, Mama Bear.”

“You don’t want to end up like me."

“What are you talking about? You’re blissfully happy.” 

Lydia’s fling the summer between junior and senior year turned into a baby girl that spring. Luckily, she was good at picking someone to fling with. She and Chuck fell in love, adding two more kiddos to the crew.

“Yeah, I am. But it’s not fun to have a baby with someone you barely know. It wasn’t exactly easy getting to where we are now.” 

Deeni remembered. She’d listened to Lydia cry numerous nights back then.

“So how are you, really? It had to suck being dumped like that.”

“It did. It does. I’m not sure how I feel. One minute I’m devastated and feel completely blindsided, the next, it’s like I dodged a bullet. Can you imagine if I’d married him and had kids and then he decided to cheat on me?”

“That woulda sucked. But I guess now that it’s happened, I’m not really all that surprised. Do you wonder if he’s cheated on you other times than this?”

“I never suspected until now.” She turned toward Lydia. “Do you think it’s cause I’m bad in bed? A girl like Gina G probably does all kinds of freaky stuff.”

“First of all, I can’t say for sure having never had sex with you, but you are not bad in bed. And secondly, that tramp is a freak. If he’s attracted to a girl who flashes her lady parts all over Miami and will blow him anytime, anywhere, then you don’t want him anyway.”

“You’re right.”

“And now you can find a better man. Who knows? Maybe something will happen with the tasty one you had for dinner."

“Uh, no. He’s just been dumped too. Nothing good can come of me thinking I can start a relationship with Carter. If anything, he’d be a fun fling.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that. Best way to get over a guy is hot sex with an even hotter guy.” 

Deeni giggled and shook her head. “Thanks for the love. And the ride. I appreciate it.” She leaned across and hugged Lydia. “I’ll talk to you later.”

 So there it is! I love a great set of BFFs! And in honor of great BFFs, I've giving one lucky winner a digital copy of my book, Soap Dreams, which also stars a feisty BFF sidekick!

Giveaway is international and you must be a blog follower to enter! Just leave a comment below with an email address so I can contact you! Contest ends on Oct. 1st at 11:59 PM! Thanks for stopping by!

And make sure you check out all the other participating blogs and all their awesome giveaways!!!

Do you thrive on routine??

Today I'm over at Sandra Sookoo's blog talking about routine! Click here to come on over and check it out!

Tweets of the Week!

I just came up with this fun new idea. I think it's fun, anyway!!

I am on Twitter pretty often. (@StephaniHaefner, if ya wanna follow!) And I come across some really funny, awesome, inspiring, entertaining Tweets. I sometimes retweet them, but I thought it might be neat to collect them and do a weekly post here!

So here we go!

@saralapolla: I'd never actually do this, but sometimes I feel like auto-rejecting when I see the line "As if _____ wasn't bad enough..." in queries.

@alannacoca: Long pants, long sleeves, a jacket, and hot tea. Autumn is here. Dammit.

@stephbeck123: Think if I add a nice scarf to my outfit it will distract enough for people not to notice if I wear sweat pants to my meeting tonight?

@lindseysine: Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did. Mark Twain

@angelajames: A submission where the author let us know he wouldn't be doing any edits on the sex scenes. Always good to know. #editreport

@redhotbooks: Life is almost always better after a snack.

How to show an author love!

Writers are a pretty self-conscious bunch. We work for hours day in and day out, sacrificing so much, and never really know if what we're doing is worth it. Is it good or just crap? The only way to know if the stories in our head come out on paper (or e-reader) as vividly as we hope is to get feedback from readers. The best way to thank an author for a story you read and enjoyed is a review, whether it be on Amazon, Goodreads, email, blog post, FB post.

Recently my husband passed my debut novel, the only one in print, on to a coworker. Two days later he came home with this note:

Hi Stephanie,

I loved your book! You are an amazing (with the word "amazing" underlined TWICE!) writer. I read it in a day and a half. Can't wait to read your next one and I loved the title. Continue writing...it's what you should be doing!!

This has to be the best review/letter I've ever received about my work. It really means the world to me!

Men are from Mars....

And I'm starting to think they don't have much parental instincts there.

So, this morning after the gym, I was in the shower and hubby came in to use the toilet, as I'm sure most married couples do. We chatted a few minutes and heard the door knob jiggle.

He yelled to our 4-1/2 year old son. "You can't come in. I'm going to the bathroom." And then said to me, "Don't worry. I locked the door."

I said, "Why? What if he needs something?"

He said, "What can I do? I'm on the sh$&^er?"

And I replied, "So, if he cut his finger off, you'd say 'Sorry. Can't help you. I'm on the sh&^*er.'"

He said, "Oh. Yeah. You're right."

(LOVE hearing that!)

It's no fun to be interrupted while using the bathroom, and 99% of the time it's for stupid things like the kids asking for snacks or wanting a DVD put in. But I always leave that door unlocked. You just never know when they will need me for something really really urgent.

I've been a mother now for 9-1/2 years. My maternal instincts had kicked in immediately. It was second nature to prepare for all the "what ifs" life could throw at us. I am always the one who's prepared when we go anywhere. I'm the one who thinks to grab bug spray, sunscreen, wippees, medications, sunglasses, hats, etc... Often Hubby says to me, "Oh, good thing you thought of that!"

Why don't men have these same instincts? Or is it just my man who doesn't? He once wanted to go out in the garage and weld things while I wasn't home. Wanted to leave our son in the house playing. I said, "Um, I don't think so. You can't even hear him when you're out there welding." The garage is connected to our house and there is a door separating it from the playroom/den where the kids spend most of their time. But still.

So, is this just another one of those things that separates men from women?? Do women just naturally have these instincts? I feel as if I am always on high alert. I can never fully relax until my kids are safely tucked into bed. Hubby doesn't seem to be the same way...not that he doesn't care and is unable to properly care for the kids...his brain just doesn't think the way mine does all the time. And I do think his operates different when I'm not around. Does his brain get lazy when I am around??

As a romance writer and writer who is constantly exploring relationships between men and women, I'm really intrigued.

The Look Challenge!

The other day on Twitter, Laura Lee Nutt tagged me in a Tweet for her challenge post. Sounded like lots of fun!!

The Look Challenge works this way:

Find the first use of "Look" in your WIP (work in progress) and paste the surrounding paragraph into a blog post.

Tag a string of victims-ehem- friends and fellow writers to participate. If you're not tagged, feel free to participate too!

So here goes! I'm not currently working on something right now, just plotting my next book, but here is a the last book I finished, that I am currently trying to find a home for. It's called Try Me On For Size. Enjoy!

She had a file for each of her “interviewees,” as she’d decided to call them, complete with photos of their naked bodies. After all, she wasn’t just looking for an able penis, she needed a spokesperson for this new venture. And the new venture would require them to be mostly naked. 

Reading but no commenting?

I'm told for every 10 blog readers, there is only 1 comment. I'm told people read, but no one comments anymore.

When I started blogging, it was a way for me to meet other writers, commiserate, start the "platform" I was told I needed to start. It was fun and I enjoyed it. Back then I had 100-150 followers and on any random day, I'd get a slew of comments. I felt the love!!

But now things are different. I still post blogs, though less frequently. But even with double the followers I used to have, I'm lucky to get 2-3 comments. I check my stats on Bloggers and it shows a decent amount of blog hits. So I *think* people are reading. But I guess I'm just not seeing the proof...in the form of feedback....interaction....the whole reason I got into blogging to begin with.

But I do get that interaction on Twitter now. So maybe things have just shifted??

I try to keep my blog fresh and updated, since it is doubling as my website for the time being. Blogger is easy to use and with the pages function, it just made sense to me. I can't afford to hire someone to make a fancy website right now.  And I wouldn't know how to update it anyway.

So...blog readers, if you're reading this, why do you read and not comment? I don't comment on every blog I read...usually it's because I just don't have anything to add.

The Big 3-5 :(

Tomorrow is my birthday. Not happy.

Never thought I'd be the woman who was embarrassed to state her age or would want to lie about it. I didn't used to be. I used to think I looked great for my age, so I liked telling people and having them say "Wow, you don't look that old at all!" I try to do lots of fun things and be outgoing...I don't want to act old. But this birthday...it's just not sitting well with me. It just sounds old.

I remember being 21-22 and thinking 30 sounded really old...a lifetime away. Then it came. And I was okay with it. But now 5 years later, not so much. My sister in law told me to shut up...as she turns 40 in October.  So I guess it could be worse.

We're going out to dinner with my parents and brothers. I had a hard time picking a place, since some of my family members are kinda picky when it comes to food. But Mexican works. Plus I can get a margarita to drown my sorrows. Today just me and hubby are celebrating. Kids are both in school in the afternoon, so we're going to a fun little restaurant downtown called The Chocolate Bar. YUM! Today sorrows will be drowned in chocolate cake.

"My way is the best way!"

I'm sure everyone knows someone who acts this way. Their ways are set in stone and they think their way is the ONLY way. It's pretty aggravating to the rest of the world. Especially when they start preaching...without being asked.

I have my own ways of doing things, whether it be cooking, cleaning, parenting, exercising, whatever. I do the things the way I do them because I feel it's best FOR ME. It works FOR ME. But I never try and tell people my way is the only way. I thoroughly believe everyone needs to find their own ways of doing everything and they won't be the same as my ways. And that is 100% okay. If someone asks me for advice, I will tell them what I do and what works for me. But I in no way try and convince them it's the only way. Everyone needs to figure out their lives by trial and error.

Even my kids. Yeah, my daughter is only 9, but even now I try to make her figure things out for herself. Me telling her the answers to everything, or forcing her to do everything my way, only stunts her creativity and individuality. I don't want a clone of a daughter. I want to raise an independent woman. My parents always encouraged me to become my own person and I've loved them for that. I am pretty different from them, and that's okay. I'm still a responsible adult even though I do things differently from them.