Friends and our need for them

I have a great group of friends. We do so much together and have been there for each other for every single milestone in life to this point. We're all in our 30's, we're all married, we all have kids. There's been ups and downs and we've been there to support each other. And have had a blast. We're always doing fun activities. I know which ladies will be on my arm when I'm 80, still doing the fun things we've always done.

Recently there was some buzz about a Friends the TV show reunion and even a whole reunion season. I was ecstatic. It's one of my all time favorite shows. I just bought the entire series on DVD. I would LOVE to see how the characters I loved are doing ten years later. But all my hopes were dashed with an article stating this was not happening. Which was fine, but I completely disagreed with the reasoning.

The article I read- read it here- states the reunion is not happening because "Friends was about that time in your life when your friends were your family and once you have a family, there's no need."

O....kay.....so what about this awesome bond I have with my girls? And even some of the guys?

I sure as hell need my friends. And I plan on always needing them. I adore my kids, but sometimes I need to be with other adults. I need to let loose with my girls and have fun. We have strong bonds. No one else on earth can identify with me about life like they can. We laugh together, cry together, do silly crazy shit together! My kids and husband aren't going to see NKOTB with me! My girlfriends are! I'm living my life to the fullest and enjoying it and my friends are a huge part of that. My family is the other part. Both are very significant to me.

So fine...there won't be a Friends reunion, but don't use the lame excuse that no one needs friends once they have a spouse and family.

And to get technical, Ross and Monica were brother and sister, and married/ended up with two of the other friends, making them all family. So, 4 of the friends still see each other an awful lot. Well, in my imagination they do. :) So there!

Jump in! Be the conversation starter!

Recently there was conversation at my local chapter's RWA meeting about Twitter. Many felt intimidated because it feels like walking into a room where all the people are already in their own conversations. I guess I can see that and understand it.

I am a big fan of Twitter. (Come on over and check me out if you so desire!! Click here!) I wasn't at first though. It was confusing and I wasn't real sure what I was supposed to be doing. I started following others and reading what they had to say. I followed industry professionals and learned so much from them. I started interacted with the people I followed and even the professionals. I became part of the conversations instead of just reading them.

And then I started posting my own thoughts. I heard someone recently call Twitter a micro blog and that's exactly what it is. Tiny little snippets of your mind. I started my own conversations. People started responding to me.

In the real world, I'm not so great at being bold and starting conversations or even joining ones already in progress. But in the Twitter world I am more comfortable. I'm hoping it will help me in real life to become more like that.

The traditional publishing world moves like a glacier.

It's no secret. Everyone who's ever submitted a single query knows how slow the publishing industry moves. It's just how it is. Agents and editors are bombarded with content every single day. Plus they have a ton of other things to do beside read queries, partials and full requests. They have to keep on top of their current clients and authors. They're always on the go. I follow enough agents and editors on Twitter and have heard enough speak at conferences, etc...to know a good amount about how their lives go. They are crazy busy.

So yeah, it takes a while to hear back from them. I can't say it's always easy to sit back and just wait. And wait. And wait some more. But it's part of the process of pursuing a traditional publishing career. I've come to accept it. I've learned how to deal with it and stay sane.

Recently I listened to an author speak about her journey and why she has chosen to self publish her work. And one of her biggest reasons was the time issue. She chose to self publish, and was very adamant about encouraging us to do it for this same reason as well, because she could write her book and get it out to readers immediately, instead of waiting a year for it to come out through traditional means. She started making money immediately instead of in a year.

And yeah, that does sound nice. I love writing. I love when readers enjoy my creations. But a girl needs to eat and I do need to make money. I don't look at this year of waiting time for traditional publishing as a waste though. There's so much that can be done in that time.

So here's an example. My agent currently has my book out on submission. Let's say it sells tomorrow and won't release until April 2014. I have a year to write more books and get those sold and ready to release after that book does. I have a year to work on social media and build excitement for the book/s. And the money aspect- I will pay $0 for editing, $0 for cover art design, $0 for formatting, etc. So even though I have a year of collecting $0 in royalties, I have also paid $0. It may take a little longer for the money to start coming in, but I personally feel that is a better base for a career. For me. I know others feel differently.

Every writer has a decision to make when it comes to their career and going traditional or self pubbing, or even a combo of both. It's a personal decision and everyone has their reasons. This girl has her reasons too. And for me, traditional is just the best route, despite the fact that it takes longer to get there.

This cracked me up!!!

So I was checking stats for my blog. They always amuse me. I love to see how many people clicked on my blog, how they got here, the countries they live in. I'm really big in the US and Russia this week. I find it really cool that people on the other side of the world are reading my words. The awesomeness of the internet :)

And one never ending source of amusement is the search words. Here is one of today's funny ones:

crista agulara in her panties

To my knowledge, I have never written a post about Christina Aguilara, and definitely not one about her in her undies.

And another that stuck out was this one:

how to pronounce haefner

And that made me think. Yeah, I know my last name is not the easiest to pronounce. It's not a cool last name. I debated on using a pen name for my writing. But in the end, I wanted to see MY name on the covers of my books, not some made up name. I figured as long as people could spell it, I was good.

But for those who would like to know how to pronounce it, it's hayf-ner. Hope that helps :)

Do you love TV?

I have no shame or guilt in admitting I love watching TV. I spend my day on the computer, writing, blogging, Tweeting, Facebooking, Pinteresting, etc... Then I make dinner for my family, spend time with them, clean the house a bit, etc... But once the kids have been read their bedtime stories and tucked into bed, it is my time to relax and unwind.

I love curling up on the couch with a favorite show that I can get lost in. I love to laugh most, so sitcoms usually take the number one spot for me. A good show with great writing and a stellar cast is perfection. My favs- How I Met Your Mother and Modern Family. (Well, these are my favs of the shows that are on right now! I just bought the box set of Friends on DVD! Can't wait to start it!)

But I also love a good soap opera-esque drama. I am pretty infatuated with Dallas right now! I was a HUGE All My Children fan, very sad to see it go. But it is starting up again online. Will be interesting to see how that goes. But Dallas definitely filled a large void for me. Drama, sex, money, power, sex..... ;) There are some pretty nice pieces of man candy on Dallas! YUM!

And I do watch a limited amount of reality TV. But I am very picky. I'm just nto into the ones that film random people with no real plot. It may have been cool in the 90'swhen The Real World first came out. It was new and interesting. But I am so over seeing people fight over petty things and gain fame for being a train wreck. I like competition type reality shows. I love Dancing with the Stars and Celebrity Apprentice. And I gotta mention the cooking shows! We adore Chopped and The Next Iron Chef.

One of the sad things  I see happening a lot lately though is good shows with good writing being cancelled in favor of blah reality TV. I don't get it :(

Do you watch TV? What are your favorites??? What are your thoughts on reality TV?

Help- Giving and Receiving

Everyone needs help. Whether it be with childcare, fixing a car, mending the house, planning a vacation, choosing the right outfit...no one can do everything all by themselves all the time.

I love helping people. I love when I can use my expertise to help someone who is not as skilled in that area. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and it's great when we can use our knowledge to help others. And it's great when we can get help in the areas of life we're not so knowledgable in. I think this is what makes a healthy society. Everyone using their talents to make the entire community better, even if the "community" is just your small group of family or friends.

And writers too. I wouldn't be where I am without the help I've received. I love being able to give back, pay it forward, and help those who are not as far along in the journey as I am. I love sharing what I've learned.

I don't think people should feel ashamed to ask for help. Ever.

But I do think there are some people out there who rely on people too much. They don't do things for themselves ever because they know someone else will do it for them. That's just not right. If you're going to accept help, you need to also be willing to help others....pay ti forward. And actually follow through with it.

And sometimes there are things we don't need help on and don't want it. I am a pretty independent person. And while there are many things I do accept help on, sometimes there are just things I can't and won't. Sometimes a person just needs the satisfaction of accomplishing something on their own.

Do you have anything you are good at that you help others with?